Essential Nothing

Moved!

2010-04-09T18:51:00.000+08:00

http://www.desertwhirlwind.blogspot.com

Thank you and God bless!

Summer Activities at Home and Observations

2010-04-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

This April, I am planning to start reading the following:

Life of Christ by Fulton J. Sheen
Inner Healing Through the Heart of Jesus by Mother Nadine Brown
A Key to the Charismatic Renewal in the Catholic Church by Msgr. Vincent Walsh

I am waiting for the new postulants at Bellwether, and for the new religious names of the new novices of Bellwether.

I am planning to watch again The Nun's Story, and hoping to watch other Catholic films.

Our kittens are so sweet right now that they keep on "meowing" so hard to get noticed. I am concerned with the too-much hospitality our one of the kittens show to strangers - especially to kids who day and night make lots of noise in front of our house. Not just ordinary noise - but swears, bad words.. they don't sound kids anymore.

What's interesting is how I became a witness to their growing up. Before they were talking about childish things. Now they are talking about things that are unchaste. I do not know where they got those things inside their minds. Probably the bad use of the internet?

Internet is like a fire that must be used properly. But if misused, it might burn the user for eternity.

It's never too late to say, "Happy Easter!"

Growing Up and Waiting

2010-04-04T12:13:00.000+08:00

I remember myself hurrying to grow up when I was younger. When I was 5, I remember myself seeing a newly built building near our place. I told myself, that would be my clinic. I wanted that time to be a dentist.

Now I don't want to be a dentist, not just because I hate to see injections piercing gums, or pulling tooth after tooth, but because I have other desires, which I hope and pray are in line with the desires of the Lord's heart.

Years ago, I was in a hurry to be 18. I thought there are many opportunities for an eighteen year old to explore the world, to look for my place. Now I am eighteen, I thought I am ready to do the exploration, but the Lord told me that I am not.

Sometimes it's frustrating to wait, isn't it? Especially when you feel you're prepared. Then we'll ask many why's. And worse, be rebellious.

"No I want it this way. Step a little farther, Lord. I know what I am doing." Unconsciously we tell these to the Lord everytime we make our plans without consulting Him through prayers and thorough discernment. And when we fail, we cry, "Why did You allow this Lord!"

It really sounds so foolish to give full trust to our own capabilities. It is as if we know everything, that we are very powerful and can control everything. I remember Martha who was somehow disappointed when the Lord was "late" when Lazarus died. "Lord if You had been here, my brother would not have died." Martha was waiting for the Lord to help her brother but alas! Lazarus already died!

But Jesus had other plans. After four days in the tomb, Lazarus was raised by Jesus. And those who witnessed this believed (see John 11: 1-46).

We could be Martha. "Lord, if you just did this" or "if you just allowed me, I'll be happy. I'll suffer no more." The Lord let Martha wait so that they can see His power. It is impossible to raise a corpse, already decaying for four days. But Jesus raised him! And if we are able to wait, we'll realize that the Lord has a great plan.

Waiting doesn't necessarily mean nothing is going on. The Lord is already acting during the waiting period.

Don't worry if you are in the "waiting" stage. It's all part of the plan.

Silence

2010-03-31T16:26:00.000+08:00

Everybody's silent this week. And I'll be entering into the "silent mode" this Maundy Thursday until the Black Saturday.

God bless you!

Photo courtesy of the Minim Nuns of St. Francis of Paola (www.minimas.org)

Test Post

2010-03-30T11:27:00.001+08:00

I tried to "connect" my blogger to my facebook account. Hope this is safe and effective.

God bless.

Music vs. Noise

2010-03-30T09:17:00.001+08:00

I think I haven't mentioned here in my blog my fondness of Gospel and Soul music. I don't know what made me like those genres of music. But they sound so rich and wonderful to me.

Gospel music is religious in nature. I always love to hear the "response" part (Gospel is call and response). You'll hear how call and response is done when you hear the video below. It's Patti LaBelle with the Muppets singing the ABC.

Soul music is a combination of Gospel and rhythm and blues. The kind of soul music I love is Motown. It's strongly gospel, with rich orchestration and strongly rhythmic. Right now, I am listening to The Temptations' For Once In My Life.

This is music. No noise, pure music. Unlike now, we even have that "heavy metal." Is it still a music? Gosh, I think they're always, I'm sorry, but demonic in form. It's filled with curse, evil, and malice. I even found bands in Wikipedia that are named Judas Priest, Black Sabbath... what's more? I won't be surprised if they would be naming themselves Devil's Advocate.

This post is initially titled "The ABC in Gospel" but I have gone so far. Anyway, here's Patti LaBelle and the Muppets singing ABC!

Summer Vacation

2010-03-21T16:38:00.000+08:00

Today is my first week of summer vacation! Unlike others, I'm not going to spend my vacation going somewhere. I'll be staying at home most of the time. We have plenty of books here, and I got to finish The Imitation of Christ, and Mother Nadine's books. I hope I'll be spending my summer vacation "wisely" - no idleness. It's hard to be idle actually, you'll get tired out of nothing.

God bless you!

Remembering Tibel

2010-03-14T17:50:00.003+08:00

Like Pope Benedict XVI, I can't resist the "charms" of cats. So I am going to tell some things about our cat, Tibel.

She was born last 2006. Her mother was a stray cat, who found her home with us. She had three other siblings: one got lost, the other one died while exploring the outside world (got hit by a jeepney) and the other one, Kati, survived with Tibel (and died 7 months before her.)

Tibel isn't a cute kitten actually. An ugly kitten, we don't like her. We don't cuddle her like we cuddle other kittens because she isn't cute. She was thin and had a large nose. Her fur is dull-colored. But nevertheless, she survived the cold treatment we gave her.When her two other siblings died, we started to carry her and play with her. Tibel is so sweet and playful actually. She so loved her mother. When her mother died seven months after giving birth, Tibel still groomed her and thought she can still be nursed by her mother.

Tibel grew into a beautiful cat. Her nose was just appropriate to her face. She had a daughter who still lives today. Eventhough she's already a mother, she acts like a kitten, ready to play, hunted birds and mice then she would place it on our door. She stood near the victim proudly. How we love Tibel.

Tibel is always happy to be with kittens. When her sister Kati gave birth, she helped her nurse the new kittens. One time both of them gave birth and both of them nursed each other's kittens. It was a wonderful sight to see both of them helping each other.

Kati died last March 2009.

Last October, I noticed that she was starting to eat less. Sometimes just sniffing at the food then sleeps. But when her daughter gave birth that same month, she was very excited. She groomed her daughter and her kittens. But she lived no longer to see the growth of her grand-kittens. She was lost on a Saturday and never came back, like her sister Kati.

When I think of Tibel, I can't help but compare her to somes human beings. Tibel, although just an animal, never hurt other kittens. She always love kittens. But what about some human beings? They are very eager to kill babies. They treat pregnancy as a disease. They promote abortion and condoms and other artificial contraceptives. Those people might be very knowledgeable, but they do not know that dignity of the humans. They do not know their worth as human beings. It's very sad. We cannot say that they're like animals because animals seem to know better than them.

I pray every people would realize the value of life. Life is now being challenged by false science and statistics. If we are going to realize how beautiful life is, there would be more love. Then there would be peace.

Living Sacrifice

2010-03-13T18:45:00.002+08:00

This is also a nice song. Listen and enjoy!
Holy Week is coming nearer. What have you done for Him lately?

Benedictine Monks

2010-03-13T15:13:00.003+08:00

Teacher

2010-03-09T22:10:00.002+08:00

It's Tuesday again, and I'll be sleeping late again.

We just had our final examination on our Rizal subject. Our professor, Mr. Salazar is a very good professor. He's very intelligent, and he's not scary. He's very kind and approachable.An ideal professor for me. :-)

My daddy used to teach in college. He taught Taxation and Obligations &Contracts. I remember as a young kid, Daddy would bring us to a fast-food restaurant and someone would greet him and ask, "Is he your son?" I'll ask Daddy, "Who is he?" and he'll answer, "My student."

I always loved the idea of having a student. It's not because someone will look up to me, not because someone will give me higher respect, but it's because of the sense of fulfillment everytime I think of that profession (which actually a vocation).

I remember 7 years ago, my parents asked me the typical qeustion, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I paused for a while. I was thinking of all my teacher. I said I want to be a teacher.

I remember another great professor, Mr. Maliksi, "If you want to teach, please teach."

I remember my High school Filipino teacher, "I do not know why I am a teacher now. I don't want to be a teacher. I took BS Psychology, but my friends shifted to another course. Then I ended up being a teacher." She says this with a smile, and I know that's she's just joking. She has a passion for teaching, I know, because if she don't have, she'll leave the profession as early as possible. What I know is that she's been teaching since mid-1980s.

Before, I always worry what I am going to be when I finish college. But I worry no more, because I know God has plans for me. And although I do not know what are His plans for me, I keep on trusting. I know His plans are perfect.

Wishin' and Hopin' and Prayin'

2010-03-06T10:02:00.000+08:00

"If the fire within starts to become cool, or goes out, we must ask ourselves, “Is there silence in my life? Is there the discipline of silence?”' - Mother Nadine Brown

Is the fire within starting to cool? I wish, I hope and pray it's not.

I"ve been praying a lot for the revival of the fire, yet it seems that the fire is getting cooler and cooler. And I am afraid that one day I'll wake up everything is over.

And I don't want this thing to be over. I give my life to this, and if ever this is over, my life is over as well.

So I'm wishin' and hopin' and prayin'.

Free Wednesday

2010-03-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

I am just so happy that I don't have any appointments, classes, etc. tomorrow. I'll be staying at home the whole day tomorrow. Yet I'll be doing some school works. I would be preparing for our next week's finals examinations. I am going to get more sleep. I don't know why, but my body says, "You need more sleep!"

My friends are talking about how I sleep while traveling. Of course, I am seated. They say that my head doesn't sway to and fro so much, so I am quite peaceful while I am sleeping in a public transportation vehicle. Quite dangerous, isn't it?

I am also trying to read more. I am reading The Imitation of Christ (which I started reading last 2007, and I can't finish it!) and the Love of God by St. Francis de Sales.

So in few minutes I am going to sleep. It's almost 9.30pm here.

So may God bless you! It's already March - Fire prevention Month. It's getting hotter here in the Philippines.

Prayer of Abandonment

2010-02-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

Out of meditation of Blessed Charles Eugene of Jesus

Father, I abandon myself into your hands.

Do with me what you will.

Whatever you may do, I thank you.

I am ready for all.

I accept all.

Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.

I ask no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul.

I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,

for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,

to surrender myself into your hands

without reserve and with boundless confidence,

for you are my Father.

Amen

A Little Thought

2010-02-26T18:40:00.000+08:00

I am alone in the darkness and I am very much afraid to walk. I fear I'll get hurt, cut or bruised. But the Lord whispered to the ears of my heart: If you will not look for the light, how will you find it?

Night Thoughts on Prayer

2010-02-22T22:29:00.000+08:00

I am going to sleep now but I just felt a tug to blog about something. Well probably it's about night.

It's 10.13pm here in the Philippines, it's Monday and in few hours, it's Tuesday. We had many visitors since Saturday, so this night all of us are really tired. We just need to rest.

I just realized that everybody needs a spiritual rest. Retreat? Recollection? Yes, but we can still rest at home. And what is important is that we rest in the Lord.

What does it mean to rest in the Lord? It's receiving His love. We just sleep on His arms. Then we'll feel so much security around us. And He'll carry us like a baby. Isn't it wonderful? Then He look at us so lovingly.

We're babies, actually. We can do nothing on our own. We need the Lord to walk, to eat, and to bathe. We need the Lord. We need to come to Him in prayer. We need to pour all our heart unto Him to be strengthened. We need to pray because in prayer we meet our Lord.

Some people say they pray a little because they don't have time. I think that reason is so selfish. Who gave you the life you're spending? Who gave you the moments where you can do your job? Don't you know that the Lord can take away your life in an instant? Can you just spend at least an hour in prayer? There are 24 hours in a day. Just an hour, can't you give that BACK to the Lord?

Praying is not a waste of time. It's the important part of the day. Without prayer, we'll become zombies. We're lifeless.

If we desire so to have time for prayer, we'll find lots of time. If we are very hesitant to spend time with the Lord, we'll find lots of excuses. Jesus said, "Apart from Me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

Good night. May the Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death.

CDs and Rosaries

2010-02-19T20:02:00.002+08:00

Last Wednesday, I receive two CDs of John Michael Talbot - The Living Water and The Troubadour Years. Mama bought them at the United States, and she arrived here in the Philippines last Wednesday. I love the songs - there are very contemplative songs suited for our prayer meditations during our Intercessors of the Lamb prayer meeting. There are also lively worship songs- also suited for our prayer meetings when we sing praises to the Lord at the beginning! I am very excited to present the CDs to the group.

Today I received the rosary I ordered from Bro. Dismas Mary. It is made of wood and very beautiful! It's very inspiring to use it. I am planning to create a mini bag for it so that I can carry it everyday. I've been waiting for this to come. I got a white one, while Japs my twin brother got a brown rosary. I chose the white because it signifies purity of the Lamb.

These guys are great!

Be God's

2010-02-17T15:25:00.000+08:00

Here's Danielle Rose (Now Sr. Rose Therese) singing Be God's. I heard this song yesterday and it keeps on playing in my mind. Yesterday was my 18th birthday and this song really made an impression in my heart. Probably I'll be singing this song for the rest of my 18th year!

Some Pictures At The Conference

2010-02-03T17:49:00.002+08:00

These are some of the pictures from the conference I was talking about in my last post. Enjoy!

We were seated, as I have said, at the upper box. So here's our view of the stage. Not that bad, isn't it? There are lots of people at the Coliseum.

Look at the statues of Jesus and Mary! Very adorable! How I wish I had a closer view. I just read the story of Fatima Apparitions, and I love how Jacinta Marto practiced her Catholic faith!

Here's Father Raniero! I couldn't get a nice shot of him while giving a talk about the Vocation and Mission of the Laity. I love his accent. :-)

Jamie Rivera sings some familiar tunes (popularized by her). Tita Malou said she is an SOS Ambassador.

Mrs. Corteza Macahilig. I love the way she laughs. I wasn't able to take picture of the couple, but the couple really gave an inspiring testimony.

Bo Sanchez! I'm so happy to see him that day. Japs and I were planning to go to one of the Kerygma Feast (people who are attending the Feast invite us since 2007).

Songs led by KFam preachers (if I am not mistaken). I wasn't able to participate in that session because I have lots of food to finish. This was after lunch, and I thought I would not be able to take lunch because the Coliseum ran out of food. So I was so surprised when my companions offered me foods, one after another!

The Mass in the afternoon. I can only recognize Cardinal Rosales, Archbishop of Manila, formerly Archbishop of Lipa. I rememebr meeting him after he was installed as the Archbishop of Manila. We "serenaded" him with our angklungs. I hope he can remember us.

Cardinal gave one of the best homilies I've heard. He told the people his life before he entered the seminary. So amusing, so inspiring!

Let me share this picture:

L-R Ever, me and Jasper during our prayer meeting last Sunday.

May God bless you abundantly!

The Role of Laity

2010-01-30T13:39:00.000+08:00

When I go to very beautiful events, I just can't put into words the experience.

Last Thursday I was at Araneta Coliseum for a conference for the laity, in connection with the 5-day Priests' Congress. I was of course, with the Intercessors of the Lamb Hermit Sisters and Companions. The day was called, "Fr. Cantalamessa Talks to the Laity: Faithfulness of Christ, Faithful of the Priests, Faithfulness of the Laity"

During his first talk, Fr. Raniero discussed the Vocation and Mission of the Laity in the Church. We are called to be holy, said Father Cantalamessa. Our mission as laity is the same with the priests, although different in the way of doing. Our mission is to evangelize. Everybody is entitled to evangelization, said Fr. Cantalamessa.

Before going to the Coliseum, we interceded for the event, priests, etc. The following words of Pope John Paul II came out at our intercession: there's no effective evangelization without contemplation. Yes, the Church needs to be a listening Church once again.

On his second talk, Fr. Raniero discussed "Marriage and Family According to the Bible" and all of us agreed with what he said. We learn first at home. Everything starts at home.

Other people gave their testimonies. One lady, named Corteza Macahilig, did what is right and now is being persecuted. There was a couple (I forgot the surname) who gave a very beautiful testimony. The husband was a seminarian, 3 months away from his diaconate ordination. The wife considered to be a religious and is an activist. They have a very beautiful and unique love story.

Bo Sanchez and Jamie Rivera were there. There were worship sessions, led by the Light of Jesus Community and Elim Community. I can recognize their faces since they also led us during Mother Nadine's conference last November.

I was seated with other Companions at the Upper Box.

And when I went home, I felt so alive, so renewed, so refereshed. It feels so great to be surrounded by zealous and pious lay people.

I just can't blog properly what I am feeling, and how the even went. I just want to savor the sweetness the Lord gave me through that day.

Praised be Jesus Christ.

Carrying People

2010-01-15T17:48:00.000+08:00

I remember one quote from Mother Nadine: Sometimes people can be your cross.

How true it is! Here you are in the middle of the people, all seem to be gladiators in disguise, piercing every inch of your heart until your heart looks like a beating wound.

Yet we must stay strong. If the people are causing us heartaches, then we must "lovingly" accept it. Jesus accepted His Cross out of His tremendous love for us. So we must accept all people whom we meet. No one is born a saint. In the same way, no one is born a devil. I remember Anne Frank: I still believe in the goodness of people.

Everytime my heart is pierced because of other people, I run to the Lord and complain a lot. I say a lot of bad things about my enemy. "He's/she's like this, he's like that. How I hate him when he do things like that etc. etc." But the Lord reminds me the words, "I still believe in the goodness of people."

Then I would be very silent.

God loves us with an immeasurable love. Jesus, out of love for us, died on the Cross so that we'll be saved.

Let's love ALL people.

oOo

I would like to share this very beautiful song of Jeanine Deckers (Sr. Luc-Gabriel, OP)

Avec Toi (With You)
With You I shall go all the days of my life

On the roads of all the world

With You I shall go all the days of my life

With my brothers through out the world

You reached out Your hand

And my footsteps are in Your steps

I'll follow You, Oh Lord

What ever the road may be

With You I shall go all the days of my life

On the roads of all the world

With You I'll serve all the days of my life

All my brothers in all the world

With You I'll serve all the days of my life

All my brothers in all the world

And I'll go to those

Toward whom You lead me

To sing, oh Lord

Of Your love and Your joy

With you I'll serve all the days of my life

On the roads of the all the world

With I shall go until the end of my life

With my brothers throughout the world

Just like You I want to give myself

To lose and use myself

for the greatness of my God

Of Your kingdom of friendship

With You I shall go till the end of my life

On the roads of all the world

With you I'll go all the days of my life

On the roads of all the world

With You I shall go all the days of my life

On the roads of Eternity

At the gate of Paradise

You'll be expecting my life

In Your hands oh my God

I shall give up my soul

With You I shall go all the days of my life

On the roads of Eternity.

God Looks At The Heart

2010-01-07T19:52:00.001+08:00

Do not worry if your Sunday best is not as good as others. They may wear clothes with more color and style. God doesn't mind if you're in line with the latest fashion or if you look elite. God looks at your heart.

Do not worry if your parish church is only a nipa hut. Do not worry if you church has no golden decorations and elaborate chandeliers. God sees the heart. Isn't it we go to Mass because of God, not because of the decorations.

Do not worry if you have little or nothing to give. Remember the poor widow? She only had two small coins yet she still still gave. Offer your nothingness. God is well pleased with poverty.

Do not worry if you feel no one cares for you. Be still and experience God and know Him. Then you will discover that you are loved.

God's love alone is enough.

God is love (1John 4:8). Listen: God sent His only Son into the world so that we might have through Him. In this way the love of God was revealed to us (1 Jn 4:9). Look at the Cross. Look at our Suffering Savior and feel His love. No one has greater love than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are My friends. (Jn 15:13-14)

Pray As You Go

2010-01-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

Since we're going back to our "daily ordinaries" next week, I would like to recommend this link for those who are very busy. I just discovered this link and I think and feel this would be very helpful, especially one of new year's resolution is to spend no idle time. Pray As You Go

I study at PUP in Santo Tomas, Batangas and I travel almost one hour to go to school. So while sitting inside the bus, I will listen to the mp3 prayers.

Pray-as-you-go is a daily prayer session, designed for use on portable MP3 players, to help you pray whilst travelling to and from work, study, etc.

It follows a format and lasts for 10-15 minutes. I heard a sample and I find this great.

Let's thank God for the British Jesuits!

Happy New Year!

2009-12-31T14:43:00.000+08:00

May God bless your 2010!

My New year resolution? I'll try to do my best in everything I do this year.

Take care!

Facing 2010

2009-12-28T14:24:00.000+08:00

We celebrated Christmas from 7pm to midnight! The Acala Family living in our area came together to celebrate Jesus' birthday. There were games, and our kiddie cousins danced!

Hep-hep hooray! This is a very tricky game, though I made it to the last round. Well, my brother won the game!

There were also gifts! Unwrapping gifts is always exciting. Jesus also wraps His gifts. He also loves to give surprises!

My brother really enjoys Christmas. He loves to sing and dance, too!

And we never realized that it was already 12am - December 26!

oOo

So, 2010 is fast approaching. Time is really fast, but I face this rapidness with much optimism. Soon there'll be loud explosions again, and colorful fireworks. I'm afraid that our kittens will get scared and go somewhere. We might let them go inside our home so that they will hear less noise and they'll not be too scared.

I have lots of plans actually for the next year. I plan to spend my time very wisely now. I'm still struggling to lessen my internet hours, so that I can have more time for necessary things.

This might be the last post of the year, so I want to greet everybody a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Prayers From The Guitar

2009-12-25T09:45:00.000+08:00

.. and vocal chords!

I discovered John Michael Talbot when someone asked an online forum for prayers. His monastery was on fire.. terrible fire. Since then I keep on visiting his website for updates.

Then I discovered his music and I find it verry contemplative and soothing. We use his music during our weekly prayer meetings when we set time for meditation and contemplation.

How I wish he would come again to the Philippines. I'll be asking Mama to buy me some of his CDs. I don't see any JMT CDs here in the Philippines. Mama is in California.

You maysearch JMT's videos on YouTube.com

oOo

John Michael Talbot was a rock star. He found the rock star lifestyle empty. This moved him to a spiritual conversion. He eventually became a Catholic. He founded the Brothers and Sisters of Charity.

This community, "The Brothers and Sisters of Charity," has about forty members living at the monastery and some five hundred more domestic members in their own homes worldwide. It is the only community in North America with canonical status from the Catholic Church and one of only ten communities in the world to encompass celibates, single people, married couples and families. All take evangelical councils of chastity, poverty and obedience appropriate to their state of life.

John Michael has a wife named Viola. By 1989, Talbot had married Viola Pratka (with the permission of the Catholic church). Pratka was a former member of the Order of the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament, who had come to the community in 1986.

oOo

It's Christmas! Merry Christmas!

A Candle and The Mass

2009-12-20T17:23:00.001+08:00

The votive candle was alone yesterday. What a contemplative thought!

I started attending the Christmas Novena last Wednesday (though they started the novena last Tuesday. Maybe it's an "anticipated novena".)

Love the new chapel behind us. Thank God for the Missionary Catechists of the Sacred Heart!

Just realized: an intercessor's heart must be open always, like the Sacred Heart of Jesus where blood and water flows.

Christmas is almost here.

I Am A Catholic!

2009-12-15T15:35:00.000+08:00

Four marks of the Church. Trying to make this one better so that I can have a nice button pin.

Always Be A Child

2009-12-14T21:27:00.002+08:00

What do you think?

You might notice the wide space around the the message. I am planning to make a button pin.. I realized the image is bad, pixelized and it would be very hard to make a pin button out of it.

Can't Believe It's December

2009-12-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

I got to do lots of updating at my Multiply site. I got tons of pictures, now I don't which photos to upload first.

But goodness, it's already December! Goodness.. goodness. Time's so fast! I just can't feel its movement because it is so fast!

Picture at left: taken last January 10, 2009 (and in one month, it would "celebrate its one year anniversary")

We Need Eagles

2009-11-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

We need eagles who will fly to the skies to remove the dark clouds. The task would be very challenging and hard since they would confront the clouds which may scare them and blind them with their darkness for some time. But after the clouds are gone, all of us, including the eagles, will enjoy the sunshine. But first, we need eagles.

Sunshine

2009-11-27T10:11:00.000+08:00

The sun will soon shine again, and everybody would be very excited to bask in the sunshine.

Too bad, too little knows that the sun is not shining. There are clouds blocking the light. Thus, the plants wither, and the people gets little nourishment.

We need eagles to soar the skies, and with their wings, remove the nimbus clouds. We need many eagles to do the job

The Former Nun Who Killed Herself

2009-11-04T07:19:00.000+08:00

Only if she just became patient, I know this would not happen.

Jeanne-Paule Marie Deckers entered the monastery in 1959. In religion, her name was Sr. Luc-Gabriel, and she was well known in the monastery for her artistic talent (painting, singing, etc.) Before she entered the monastery she was an art teacher. In 1961, encouraged by her fellow sisters, she recorded the song "Dominique". As far as I know, it is the only #1 Belgian song in the USA. She was known to many as Soeur Sourire - Sister Smile. She even had the chance to be at Ed Sullivan's Show. Her popularity rose.

But in 1967, she left the monastery to live as a lay woman. If I am not mistaken, she became a Third Order Dominican.

There were several reasons presented why she left: she's tired of monastic life since it's very outdated, she's very unhappy with the changes brought by the Vatican II, she wanted to make more money, and many others. Philips, her producer, got her money. You might encounter that her earnings went to the convent too. This is because of her vow of poverty.

She left the monastery and became a church-rebel: even to the point of writing the song, "Glory to God for the Golden Pill". She even supported ideas of married Roman Catholic priests (I read that she said before, I may even marry a Dominican and we'll have Dominican babies), of the remark of John Lennon (We're more famous than Jesus now.)

Outside the monastery, she wasn't very successful. She seemed to fail. She cannot use the name Soeur Sourire because of copyright issues with the recording company. She used the name Luc Dominique instead, but the world looked for the Soeur Sourire in black and white habit.

She continued to go down, together with her alcohol addictions, depression, as the Belgian government chased her, telling her she owed them US$63,000. Together with Annie Pecher, her lover, she wrote, "We are at the end - both financially and morally. We have no ideals anymore, only God. But that does not make us sick. We return to the Lord,"

They killed themselves on March 1985 through drug overdose (barbiturates), not knowing that Jeannine will receive that day US$300,000 for royalties.

Patience is really a virtue. I hope all us will learn from her story.

I'll Be Back

2009-10-27T15:56:00.000+08:00

Promise!

Contemplation

2009-09-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

Contemplative prayer is nothing else than a close sharing between friends." - St. Teresa of Avila

I am now in search for a contemplative music for our prayer gatherings. I found the Taize music at youtube.com and I find it very interesting, though I am quite not sure if the members of our prayer group would appreciate it.

I found this link. It's about preparing a welcoming place for meditative prayer. I find this very helpful. We got to save some money to but some vigil candles. They're not costly anyway, and it would really make our prayer hall conducive to prayer and contemplation

Geesh! I'm getting excited with the candles!

Prayers for the Victims of the Storm

2009-09-27T10:17:00.000+08:00

I never thought that the storm would bring severe damages to our country.

I made a storm watch with the PAGASA's Official website because I was hoping that the rain would stop. We're supposed to have a prayer meeting yesterday. It was 7am. 12pm came and the rain didn't stop. We had to postpone our meeting and reschedule it next week.

I had a slight flu and colds yesterday.

Then I heard over the news the damages done by the storm. I can't believe it! When we were still living in Malabon near a river, that didn't happen to us. How come highly industrialized places would sink? We sense that a fraud hero contributed much to the damages.

Lipa was spared from damages. Some of my documents got wet but we're safe.

Tomorrow we'll have no classes.

When the Customer is NOT Right

2009-09-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

She threw the plate to the waitress.

Yes, this is true. A lady saw a fly on her plate of rice. She called the waitress and threw the plate to the waitress. She was shouting at the food court this afternoon at SM City Lipa.

I was with my friends and were talking about it as it happened. The old lady seems to be very rich, but has no MANNERS AND ETIQUETTE.

She kept on shouting even a new plate is given. She asked for the manager, then for the guards. She was then escorted to the office. I don't know what happened next, but what I know is that the lady didn''t exercise her right as a consumer. She abused it.

I will always remember the rich lady in my prayers.

Grace to Love God

2009-09-21T16:27:00.000+08:00

Wake up, then prepare for school.

Eat break fast then go to school.

After an hour of travel, wait for another hour for your professor who will not show up.

Then go home.

Then do assignments, if there are assignments.

Then rest. Then eat. Then sleep.

Then repeat them five times.

I always wish it is Saturday.

But I know if I will let God take charge of my day, everything will be new to me everyday! Then my life will be very exciting!

I am just glad that yesterday's homily was about the role of the laity.That gave me strength. A lay person meets a lot of challenges because he is in the world but he is not of the world - and the world tries to destroy him.

The priest encouraged us to pray every morning, "Lord, grant me the grace to love You as much as I can!"

Let me try that prayer tomorrow and I am going to watch for the results! I am excited!

I Thirst

2009-09-19T17:54:00.000+08:00

Give me silence. I will be very happy!

Give me solitude. I will be really happy!

Then, let me pray alone. Let me seek the presence of my God. I will be in ecstasy!

Let me be at peace. Let me leave everything!

RIP Mary Travers

2009-09-18T11:25:00.000+08:00

Mary Allin Travers, the "Mary" of the folk group Peter, Paul and Mary, died last September 16, 2009 due to complications from chemotherapy, following treatment for leukemia.

For more info, click HERE.

Lady of All Nations - Hoax?

2009-09-16T18:27:00.000+08:00

I found the letter just now. Copies of the letter were given out last September 12, 2009, at the 6th National Pilgrimage to Lipa:

September 12, 2009

Dear Fellow Devotees of Mary Mediatrix,

I would like to express my profound sadness at the attempt to use the annual pilgrimage to Lipa to promote the false apparitions of the "Lady of All Nations".

Many devotees came to venerate the Mediatrix of All Grace and Mary Mediatrix ONLY, and not some weird manifestation claiming to be the Blessed Mother.

The "Lady of All Nations" is a sacrilegious caricature of Mary Mediatrix and deserves the fullest condemnation of Marian devotees as this false apparition has already been condemned of Marian devotees as this false apparition has already been condemned not only once but several times by ecclesiastical authorities in Holland and in Rome date May 7, 1956, March 13, 1957, August 25, 1961, June 27, 1974 and May 20, 2005.

I call on all devotees of the Mediatrix of All Grace to continue venerating and to focus on Mary under that title that She herself came to give us in Lipa in 1948 and to promote the Mediatrix not only in the Philippines but to the whole world.

Lipa Carmel is sacred ground for it is the place chosen by Heaven to manifest Mary Mediatrix of All Grace to the entire world. Let us not allow heresy, blasphemy and sacrilege to pollute Lipa Carmel or taint authentic devotion to Mary Mediatrix with the false messages of the "Lady of All Nations".

Let us not fall for this snare of satan that is laid as a trap for us to mess up true devotion to the real Mary Mediatrix, She who appeared in 1948 in our beloved country and not in Amsterdam.

Signed
William Lorenzo
1763 Dumas St.,
Makati City 1204

Personally, I cannot understand why was the Lady of All Nations included in the National Pilgrimage. I am quite unsure if I should believe in the authenticity of the Lady of All Nations. But I have no rights to judge, because I do not know the story, the proposed dogma, etc. and I don't want to bash any statues of Mary in front of a crucifix. One time I may spend time "studying" the Amsterdam apparitions.

Solitude

2009-09-11T12:10:00.001+08:00

I am alone here in our home. My brothers and sister are in school. Our youngest brother is supposed to be here after lunch, but it's 4pm, he's not yet here. He's with our aunt. Maybe they are trapped because of the rain.

Yes, it rains! How I love rainy days! But I hate too much rain.

I love to sleep on a rainy night, then when the rain stops, you'll hear the croaks of the frogs. I find this very beautiful and sweet. This shows to me the beauty of God and I enjoy everything He created.

"The other things on the face of the earth are created for man to help him in attaining the end for which he is created."

Just read this: "If in order to serve and praise God our Lord one withdraws from numerous friends and acquaintances, and from many occupations not undertaken with a pure intention, he gains no little merit before the Divine Majesty."

I should have read this before! This will help our Companion group in our formation meetings! I got to share this to the group!

We're going to the Mass tomorrow at Lipa Carmel. It is a part of the National Pilgrimage for this year. It's so great that God placed us in Lipa! We can go there without any problems!

If God wills it, it will happen! Japs, a few days ago, told me that he cannot join me in the National Day of Prayer (the Pilgrimage) this Saturday. He has a "make-up" class for one of his subjects. That discouraged me to go. But I feel the Lord wants us to go. Japs informed me yesterday that he can go, because the make-up class was postponed. See?

Have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy your rest! Reserve your energies for the next week!

God loves us. God bless you.

Kindergarten

2009-09-08T08:21:00.000+08:00

Kindergarten memories.

I am reading Tracy's blog and her recent post is about her youngest son going to kindergarten.

I remember when my twin brother and I were crying whenever my sister goes to her school. We want to go to school, too. Well, I do not know why we had that desire. So the next school year, we were enrolled at a parochial school as Kindergarten-A. We were 4 years old that time.

But we had to transfer to another school because the teachers went on a strike (and it was televised!) because of low salary. That time we cannot understand the whys.

So we transferred to another school, but because of age restrictions, we were enrolled as Kindergarten-A again.

I remember my first day. It was raining. My brother, sister and I were with Daddy. Everybody seemed to be very busy. Since it was raining and we were in Malabon that time, the flood was rising, and everything was muddy. But somehow I didn't care about them.

I am not excited nor nervous. All seemed to be very normal for us.

Okay, my memory stops here, but I cans till remember some kindergarten memories. Maybe I can share them here on day. The students inside the computer shop are very noisy right now.

God bless!

Sleeping Late

2009-09-05T19:09:00.000+08:00

I was planning this afternoon to sleep early.

It's 11.03pm and I am still in front of the computer.

Gosh.

On Monday we'll have no classes again. What will happen to our studies if the government keep on canceling classes every Monday? It's the final month for this semester and it's terrible that we've missed lots of lessons.

I've told you that one of my new month's resolution is spend my day wisely. I plan to dive into Mother Nadine's teachings. Thank God for the internet!

New Look!

2009-09-05T09:27:00.003+08:00

I now have this teal background for this blogger account!

Teal is for zeal. Teal is the color of the Intercessors of the Lamb.

"Our prayers go to heaven and we're kind of bridging the gap. And so, with earth being green and heaven being sky blue, we're in the middle. Blue and green makes teal."
-Sr. Mary Danika of the Morning Star

Farewell August 2009

2009-08-31T14:52:00.001+08:00

I am starting to enjoy college. Promise.

I have these beautiful classmates. I am taking a very beautiful course, surrounded by beautiful students, and professors.

Only a few people realize the beauty of the course I'm taking. One former teacher laughed ta me when he learned I'm taking Psychology. He's NOT the only one who laughed at me, or questioned my decision.

I asked the Lord once why he gave me this desire, and as usual, He answered silently. He let me enjoy the beauty that I am talking about in the second paragraph.

So, August is going to say bye-bye in few hours. We'll never have another August 2009 again. So one of my "new month" resolution is to use every seconds of my life wisely.Very wisely.

I got to give up all idleness.

"Talking is a distraction; observing silence and working recollects and strengthens the spirit." - Venerable Sister Consuelo of the Immaculate Concepcion, OM

This Minim nun deserves to become a Saint! I have a booklet of her life and sayings, and wow. She's very inspiring.

God bless you!

Welcome September!

Sleeping in Public

2009-08-20T13:11:00.000+08:00

I just realized the gravity of sleeping in public!

I always sleep inside the jeepney while going home. The trip lasts usually for an hour, and one time I was so surprised that I already slept for an hour inside the jeepney. Upon riding the jeepney, of course I sit down, nod my head, then sleep. Then when I woke up, I'm already near our home.

Too tired? Well, maybe. I sleep for seven hours at home and I think this is not enough for me.

Actually I usually don't sleep inside the jeepney. I hate the idea. But when I entered college, gosh, I always feel the need to sleep.

There are lots of dangers: someone may get my wallet while sleeping, or my cellphone.

One time my friend (I always go home with a friend. That friend must be awake!) woke me up. The driver asked us to transfer to another jeepney. I looked drunk!

One annoying incident: I sat behind the driver and started to sleep. The driver woke me up. Then he asked me to hand the change to a fellow passenger. As if I'm the only passenger!

One funny incident: My head tilts front, then to the back, then front, to the back, until my friend woke me up because I look funny. I am so embarrased!

But I have to look at the sunny side: I now know hot to sleep while seating.

I went to Wikipedia, and I love the pictures. Scrolling down, I found the effects of sleep deprivation. If you lack sleep, you will have symptoms similar to ADHD.

Okay, I don't sleep in public. I just take a nap.

God bless you!

Promdi Goes to The City

2009-08-18T09:06:00.000+08:00

My brother told me, "We're promdis. We cannot hide it." Promdi is hillbilly in English.

I had my first trip to Metro Manila alone last Friday. I went to Taguig to attend an IOL activity.

Many expressed their concernm especially my family and companions. They advised me not to go, because The City is very dangerous. I received lots of scary stories about being in Manila (I live in a first-class city but the difference is that it is located at the heart of a rural province).

Of course, I am scared, and it took me two weeks to think about it. I have no companions since all of them are busy.

But I wasn't able to think about this days before my "journey." We had our midterm examinations, so I just asked God to take care of everything since I will be very busy. I never thought that the plan happen.

A Companion from Manila sent me a text message two days before my journey. She gave me the directions. Daddy helped me to understand the directions. He was very worried too, and he don't want me to go.I didn't insisted. I just let everything flow. There's only one things that I insisted: it's going to Manila at 3.30pm. They want me to come earlier.

The Journey.

I left school at 12pm since i have no classes in the afternoon. I arrived at Lipa at 1pm and met some friends and companions. At 2pm, I went home to prepare for the adventure, and left at 3.30pm. I rode on a bus going to Alabang.

Let me describe you the bus: it's old, the windows are broken (they are ready to fall) and there's no aircon. The bus is half-full (or half-empty), and a lady was seated beside me, together with her big bags.

Off to Manila

The bus left at almost 4pm. Everything ran smoothly. I started praying the rosary, as I have promised to God and Our Lady.

I updated my friend and classmate through text messages. I was so touched with her concern. She told me that nothing bad would happen.

The bus took the road that I take when I go to school. So I am familiar with the places the bus went. But something bad happened.

The Nightmare

We were near Calamba when we experience a heavy traffic. Traffic jam!

We heard many ambulance sirens. There were 3 or 4 ambulances that time. The line of the vehicles was so long. I started to shake. I must be at Taguig before 7.30pm. It was 5pm.

What happened?I pulled out a piece of paper and started writing, "Lord, whatever my purpose will be in the gathering, it's up to you, But Lord, please intervene. I am scared."

Then I wrote a resolution, "Faith! Faith! Faith! I must have faith!"

The next minute, I was thinking, "Am I doing what is right? I should have stayed at home because of its comforts."

Then I entered a test of faith, "Is there really God? Do I serve really God or everything is just an illusion, including God?" This is how scared I was. But I must be strong. After a minute of silence, peace returned to me. God consoled me in my time of fear.

The bus moved slowly, very slowly. When we passed by a Yakult factory, we saw shattered glass, and I smelled sonething horrible. Was it blood? There was a terrible car crash. Gosh. My classmate told me later that the crash was included in the news.

I dared not look at my watch. I was desperate.I want to come on tine.

Super Speed! Super Illusion!

At last, we were at the South Luzon Express Lane. The bus is was traveling at a great speed. I felt I was flying, and be carried by the wind. I cannot close the windows; they're broken! But I love the wind, and I was filled with hope that I would arrive on time. It was 6pm

Then the bus came to a stop. There's a heavy traffic again. Maybe, I thought, they're just going to pay the toll fee. I held this idea in my mind until I realized we're not really moving. They are not yet paying the toll fee.

I know I would be very late for the Mass.

Alabang - The Scary Place

I reached Alabang at 7.30pm. It's obvious, I would be very late. I went near to an MMDA officer, and asked if there will be jeepneys going to FTI. Actually I don't know where FTI is but I was told that I should ride a jeepney going to FTI, and go down to my destination. The officer asked me to wait. But I cannot wait any longer. There were no jeepneys going to FTI. There were some men clowning at the officers. I was so scared, that I embraced my black backpack. The men were throwing cigarettes, jokingly asking for money. I stayed with the officers.

I asked Daddy for alternative routes. I rode on a jeepney going to DOST. Daddy would be meeting me there. When Daddy called, I know he's very worried and angry. But I tried to be calm. Or there will be a tornado.

The driver was a stranger of course, and I don't talk to strangers. But when I rode his jeepney, I sat beside him and asked for directions, etc. He's laughing. I want to laugh, too! Good thing he's kind. When we reached Sucat Exit, I was the only passenger left. He drover me up to DOST.

Thank God I am NEAR!

I went to the office of Department of Science and Technology. I was there before, 5 years ago. I saw Daddy's car. The car doesn't move. So i tired to open the door, but as I was reaching the "doorknob", the car sped away. Later, Daddy told me that he didn't notice me.

I tried to be very optimistic. But I was so sorry for being so late, very sorry for tiring my father. He drove me to the destination. When we came there, he didn't join me. He was too tired and very shy.

I arrived there at 8.30pm, 5 hours after I left home. The Mass has just ended, but there's still the feast. I was so ashamed of myself. It looke like I came there just to eat.

At 10pm we left the City and we arrive at Lipa at 12.30am. I was already Saturday.

Graces - All Hidden

I never regretted my journey to Taguig. I felt so blessed with many hidden things. I realized that love can be expressed through all emotions, especially anger. They are not angry because they hate you, but because they care for you, and sometimes anger shows how strong one's love is.

I also saw how prayers are needed by the needy people. When I saw the ambulance, I can feel the fear and the tension, especially when the ambulance cannot move. I saw it in the driver's place.

I still believe in the goodness of people. Anne Frank wrote this on her diary. Manila isn't a place of evil. Manila is a place with many evil lurking around. Can you spot the difference?

I also observed many Filipino traits, which we studied in our Social Science subjects. It ffeels so good to see the reality, especially when you feel that you're very worthless because of the choice of my course. There are people questioning my choice of course, and I feel bad that they cannot understand.

I also know the true characters of my friends. I learned who are my true friends, who are really concerned.

I met other Companions at the gathering. I love being with the community. If only we're always together, I think I'll be very happy!

Life is a journey. With that short journey, I realized that we can never escape the desert experiences. Desert experiences are very helpful.

I thank God because He's with me, even though I doubted. He even consoled me.

So this is the journey. my adventure last August 14.

God bless you!

Daily Routine

2009-08-16T07:04:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we may find life very monotonous. We will only find meaning of life if we are going to live it only for God.

Honestly, I'm getting tired of my daily school routine. When people whom I know see me, they say I am thinner. People ALWAYS tell me that I am thinner. I can accept it if it's not in comparative form.

I don't have anorexia nervosa, but I am very selective on what to eat. Hmm, is this the root?

Anyway, I am not used in talking about my health!

We have an examination in History tomorrow. Then I have to fix many many things. Last week's examinations made me very dry spiritually. I ask God to help me balance my time.

May God send His holy angels to instruct me.

The Youth and The Computer

2009-08-10T08:56:00.000+08:00

Do you know what I hate about going to a computer shop?

It is when I am seated next to a kid playing online games.

"!@%#!!", he'll cry, "You, stu*^$ Johnnie! I lost! $#%*!"

Then, other kids inside the shop will also shout, curse... at a very young age.

No wonder where they go it: from adolescents who keep on competing with these kids. I have this "theory" that these adolescents learned cursing at a young age, too.

They carry this internet-shop attitude outside.

Young people feels an action, or a word, is right if it is made by an adult. They like to be adults in an instant. I'm still trying to figure out why, but I am quite sure that they'll regret what they do in their childhood when they grow old.

They would wish they would become a child again.

But, little do we realize, that we will always be a child in God's loving arms.

We are God's children.

The Youth - Satan's Target

2009-08-07T17:10:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1KtScrqtbc

I found the song He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother at YouTube.com and I find the song very inspiring and moving.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother. This is the motto of an organization called The Boystown. It was founded by a Catholic priest Fr. Edward Flanagan. I think it's a very beautiful apostolate. The world need this apostolate NOW and VERY BADLY.

There are many youngsters who have formed gangs in our place. They are eight year old kids. They had their hair colored with gold, yellow, whatever color it is.They act as if they own the world: shouting, punching each other, trying to squeak as if they are already in their adolescence! What's in their minds? They run in front of our house, shouting in the middle of the afternoon. They don't care about our silence. Sometimes they throw stones at our roof.

I know they don't have enough money to eat three times a day. But why do they need to waste their parents' money on useless things like hair dye?

This afternoon I was inside the mall and I saw two girls wearing skimpy dresses. As if they're already grown up! Their mother wore a skimpy dress too. Legacy?

I will tell more later. It would be time-consuming if I were to type all of my observations.

We need more people to help them grow up into righteous persons. They need to learn proper behavior. They need to know what is right and what is wrong.

But most of all, we need persons who would help them and their families to have a good life. We need persons who would educate them, who would take care of them, who would let them experience that they are loved by the community. The youth need to experience that they are needed by the community.

We need persons who would tell them who God is. The children must not grow up with the thought "If you did something wrong, God will punish (or beat) you!" The children must grow up with the thought "God is love. God loves you, so don't do this." or "God will be very sad if you do this."

I fear children these days are too grown up to receive the truth. Oh society.

We need people who would pray for the children, and for more workers for the Lord of the harvest.

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where

But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he, to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another

It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on our way to there
Why not share

And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Alone

2009-07-29T08:22:00.000+08:00

I am alone in the computer shop this time. I am not with my classmates. They are too tired of surfing the net, I think.

I have always admired the hermits and the monks. How I wish I live in a world of silence! These days, the world seems not to know what silence is. Rock music, silly chitchats, I'm tired of this world! But alas! I am trapped!

The Lord is always telling me to be patient with the world. We must not be of the world even if we are in the world. I think it would be very beautiful if we were able to introduce to others the meaning of silence. That would be good. But it would be better if we would be able to introduce Jesus to them. Today's world is so pagan now.

Pagan society. Pagan society. I always hear this in my mind! I've encountered people who say, "why believe in God? Have you seen Him? To see is to believe!" and "Religion is created to explain things that humans can't explain." The second statement seems to be an insult. Well I may have a different understanding but I just feel insulted.

I am looking at the Carthusian at the picture. Oh peace!

No More Kitties

2009-07-24T14:08:00.000+08:00

From seven, down to zero!

Last May one of our two female cats gave birth to cute and healthy four kittens. Then, days later, the second cat gave birth to three not-so-healthy kittens.

But fortunately, all of them managed to live for more than a month.

But one by one they died.

The last of the kittens died this morning. That, of course, disappointed me. We have the female cats now. (One of our cats was poisoned weeks ago.)

I am waiting for their kittens, he-he.

The last kitten died after fighting for her life for a day. She used to be the strongest of the seven, very playful, but one day got too weak.

Before I leave for school, I saw her very cold on the floor. When I came back home at 1pm, I saw the kitten inside a piece of rolled newspaper. She died while I'm in school.

Yup, i was in school but all of our professors didn't show up. Oh my.

Classes Were Suspended

2009-07-17T15:57:00.000+08:00

We were on our way to school when we learned this great news. We still went to school even if we know there would be no classes. We cannot come back! My school is almost 20km far from our home!

So we spent a little time outside PUP. We weren't allowed to enter. I don't know why.

We brought some classmates to SM City Lipa and we enjoyed for the first time the time being together. Of course we're new classmates, so everything in SM is brand new.

Then I met my old classmates and I joined their group. I miss them a lot.

I have colds and slight flu now. I have tons of tissue papers in front of me.

Someone recommended me to read St. Francis de Sales' works. I have one, The Love of God, which I bought a year ago. I have read only some few parts then it stayed at our bookshelf for more than a year. This is a problem to me: I always stop reading a book when I see another interesting one. The result: I have only few books that I have actually finished! Ha-ha!

So, I hope the storm will go away this evening so that our prayer group can meet tomorrow!

It's Been A While

2009-07-13T08:18:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I posted my last journal. I've been quite busy preparing for some school tests.

So what's up with me? I'm coughing in front of the monitor. Last night I started coughing and I had difficulty in breathing. I couldn't sleep last night. But thank God I was able to sleep after an hour of coughing. I slept at 9.30pm.

At 12am I woke up coughing and still having a difficult time in breathing. So I managed to take Nafarin. I was able to sleep.

I woke up at 4.45am. No more coughing but I have a "heavy chest". I feel so weak. I think I have a fever. So I took another Nafarin tablet and a Biogesic tablet. I tried to eat but I have no appetite.

It was raining outside the time I went to school around 6am. Good thing I brought a jacket with me.

Still, I cough and feel very weak. I wanna go home.

Somewhere in Outer Space

2009-07-07T08:16:00.000+08:00

Our professors in Algebra and Sociology didn't show up in the class, so here we are again in the internet shop. It seemed that we have no classes in the morning. O time is gold.

Time is gold, yeah. Now I am starting to believe that it is indeed gold. The past weeks I've been into a panicking mode in the morning always but I was so surprised that I finished preparing myself and my breakfast earlier. So I have to wait for my cousin to fetch me to the jeepney stop. The usual way is he's waiting for me for more than ten minutes.

I've been very angry this past few days. I think it's somehow obvious in my previous blogs. I stopped doing my prayer journals. I cannot calm myself. I thank God for being patient with me. I am in the process of healing and my life is renewed again. (Renewed, again? Now, that's fantastic)

I have to be back at school at 3pm. It's just 12.11pm in my watch. I have to wait very patiently, and I have to use my time properly because time is gold.

I am still in the adjusting phase in my new environment. I have to go back to the mountain to ask God for strength, that will keep me going for the whole week. I want to see God.

Do you also want to see God? I hope you want to. Love the One who loves you truly.

Aircon

2009-07-02T08:25:00.000+08:00

Temperature is getting higher and higher each day. That's why I enjoy spending my free time at a nearby computer shop. They have an air conditioner here and I think it's obvious why I stay here.

This morning, some of my new classmates and I are talking about our new environment. They said that it seems they'll never get used in college. Environment is really different, very different. You got to meet different kinds of people (and hairdos too). You got to see one-peso sized earlobe hole. You got to meet "social climbers". We do not go to school to be pretty or to socialize. Our first priority in going to school is to learn.

Just some of my thoughts.

They Scared Me

2009-06-30T08:44:00.000+08:00

Ooh. They seemed to be monsters in my eyes now.
Ooh. They misinterpreted me. Why are they so scary? Why am I treated so severely?
Ooh. Who am I? Why do I seem so wrong to them?
Ooh. They really scared. I fear them now.
Ooh.

(Is this the Ooh Antiphons?)

But I still love them. I know when someone reads and understands what I mean, I will be wrong again. I am so sorry.

Lazy Friday and Bread Sharers

2009-06-26T14:33:00.000+08:00

We went to the Minims Nuns again and I am so excited with the eents that are going to happen! By the way I am with Cham and Mau, my college friends (but HS schoolmates. Cham was an elementary classmate)

(from http://www.minimas.org/acontecimientos.asp translated from Spanish)
DEDICATION OF THE FIRST CHURCH OF THE ORDER OF THE MINIMUM IN ASIA

DEDICATION OF THE FIRST CHURCH OF THE ORDER OF THE MINIMUM IN ASIA

*
July 13 will be dedication of the church of "San Francisco de Paula" in Lipa City (Philippines) for the convent of the Minim Nuns which has been there since 1999 as a draft Foundation.
*
On July 20 will take place in the church the solemn profession of the junior Sr. Gennevi G. Balmes belonging to the Foundation of the Philippines. You can see her testimony here. You can download the invitation.

*
June 16 will be the renewal of vows of Sister Philomena, junior of the Foundation of Lipa City, Philippines.

So we spent our afternoon in the afternoon talking to the nuns. My friends had this as their first experience - first monastic experience. They were so thrilled to see the turntables and the parlor grille. They asked many questions and they really learned form the wise nuns.

I read somewhere in the 2009 365 Days with the Lord (St Pauls) that the word companion was taken from foreign words which mean "Bread sharers".

I was thinking about this in our Sociology class this morning. We're talking about SOCIETY. A community must become companions to each other - we share Jesus, the Eucharistic King, the Bread of Life, to each other. We share the Bread to those who are hungry, to those who don't know Him. At first I couldn't believe that there are people who don't know God. But God is opening my eyes, He is showing me the truth. In college I see people pursuing their own worldly ways. I would be very delighted to see them returning to the Bellwether! Lord of the Harvest, send more workers, send more sharers of Bread, send more sharer of Love!

Obscurity

2009-06-21T08:51:00.000+08:00

IOL Lipa met yesterday. We were only 6, but we were still very happy. We help each others in assignments, even if we are taking different courses. First year in college is mostly taking up minor subjects, I was informed. But still I am looking forward of helping each other even if we are really on different tracks. I am just sad because it seems I have nothing to contribute. I have nothing in my hands to give.

Tomorrow we'll be on our second week in college. We're still excited to learn. But last night I was asking God why He placed me at PUP. I have lots of former classmates at BSU here in Lipa. I don't know, maybe through divine intervention, why we didn't submitted out application form at BSU. I hold dear to the comment made by Brother Lawrence at my previous blog (you may have to visit my essentialnothing.blogspot.com if you're reading this in Multiply.com).

A little miracle happened to me yesterday after the prayer meeting. Actually you may not treat this as a miracle. I ordered French Vanilla at 7-11. The cashier told me to fill my own cup. Unfortunately I pushed the button for hot chocolate, but only hot water came out. Good thing, said the cashier, because if the choco came out of the dispenser I have to pay for that. Thanks be to God.

May God bless you and fill you with His tremendous love this week. Thank you for reading!

Can't Believe I Survived!

2009-06-19T14:27:00.000+08:00

It's Friday and I reached home at 2pm. Our last class this day ended at 12pm so we're free until Sunday from that moment on! My Mabinian schoolmates and I went to SM to photocopy some materials for our IOL Gathering tomorrow and to our surprise, we met other Mabinians studying at Batangas State University, also taking up BS Psychology!

We really missed them. I just realized that our world is different to the world we are supposed to cope up with. My friends are great, really, and I am so proud of them. I am so proud of the Mabini Academy. People outside see Mabini Academy as a very strict school, but we now cherish its fruits!

I also realized how we become childish in some ways. I see some college students as super-matured. They seem to be very different from us. Well, is it because of the world they're moving in? Is it because they have chosen to be buried in the vanities of the world? Is it because they want to be superior? These things play in my mind, and I can't help it. They're super-matured but something is lacking. A child seems to be better than them. Now I realize Jesus' words: Be like a child.

Inside the jeepney while going home, we met a mother whose fat child (age seems to be 4 or 5) is pointing something outside: What's the color of that and that.. etc. I remember the stories of my mother. I was like that child. Mama said we asked others why Rizal died, why does it rain, etc. etc. Still, being 17 years old, I still ask some things that seem to be stupid in the world. No one understands me, I don't know. When I speak, they only hear, they don't understand. It's frustrating. But I have to get used of not being listened at. Maybe I am not a good listener? Sometimes I have problems in listening when 2 or 3 are trying to talk at the same time. I feel the heat a traffic aide feels under the sun.

Tomorrow, we'll be meeting again. Now I am quite accepting the fact the there will be people from our group who will not attend. I slowly accept the fact there will be only 4 in the meeting. That's what happened last Sunday, we were only four in the prayer meeting. We were supposed to be 12. We were four, yes, and God listened to us. I felt so disappointed that day but only God understood, only God had the patience to listen to the chants of poor childish Batangueno. God will never disappoint us.

I am just on my first step. I have to wait for four years, then... what will I be? There are times that I get scared of my future. I don't know what will happen.

Only God knows.

During "Vacant" Hours in the Outside World

2009-06-18T08:58:00.000+08:00

It's 12:45pm and my next class is on 1:30pm. So while waiting for my next subject, I am here at a nearby computer shop, researching, checking email and of course, blogging.

We were shocked by the different culture of college. People are more liberated, talking of vain things. So this is the outside world. I may have to say "bye-bye" to my old disciplinarian high school but I will always carry what they have taught me, and what they are teaching me through their living example.. How I love The Mabini Academy!

Once during prayer, the Lord reminded me to love my neighbors. I told him how. He showed me the way: to love is to love without measure.

By His grace, I am strengthened "while outside". I will not allow the devil to come into my heart. But I will not scorn the people I have met in college. No one is a saint or a devil, right? Like Anne Frank, I still believe in the goodness of people.

The Lord is making me realize the power of intercession.

God loves us all.

First Day Escapade

2009-06-15T13:52:00.000+08:00

I'm not nervous, but I'm not excited with our first day of school. Our first day as college students. Yes, college is very different environment, compared to high school and elementary. "New life" - this came out from our opening prayer yesterday (IOL Gathering).

When I was in fourth year, I wake up at 5.45am. Now I must wake up at 4.45am since Sto. Tomas is an hour away from Lipa City.

I left home at 6am. I must be at PUP before 7.30am. Some friends were waiting for me.

I usually ride on a bus. But since no buses were coming and I might be late, I rode on a jeepney.

Brmmm...

It's my first time actually to ride on a jeepney going to Sto. Tomas. I wasn't familiar with the road the jeep was taking.

And guess what happened.

The jeep took a different road, a road that I am not familiar of. I started to shake and ask, "Where are we?" I got a feeling that we already passed Santo Tomas. But I waited, but I felt we're in Laguna already! So I went down the jeepney and took a tricycle. I was shaking when I told the jeepney driver to stop for me. Fellow pasengers were looking at me. I cut my left thumb due to too much hurrying.

"Jollibee Santo Tomas!" (PUP is near Jollibee) I told the tricycle driver.

The driver is kinda shocked. Then we went the way the jeep I was riding before went. I was very confused!

I looked up at a sign. It says I was just about to leave Tanauan City.

By the way, this is how I travel: Lipa City - Malvar - Tanauan City - Santo Tomas (where PUP is)

Ayy! We haven't passed by PUP! I was mistaken!

Gosh! Aargh!

I came 15 minutes before our time. But our first professor wasn't present. Then we met our English professor, then our Filipino professor. Then we took our lunch. We met our Gen. Psychology professor then went home at 3.30pm.

Everything's great! We met new people. Some came from very far places.

At lunch, I ate bopis (my favorite!) FYI, Bopis is local dish: spicy heart and lungs of pigs. Hmm! I love street foods! I love Isaw (pig or chicken intestines) and just plain lungs. Do you image me now as a monster? i hope not!

Here are some pictures:

Walking in the village... It's 6am here.

Inside the classroom with my new classmates. We're 65 in class.

Tomorrow, another day! Time for our last class is 3pm - 5pm. I will reach home at 6pm.

But on Wednesdays and Fridays I'll go home at 12pm. I might reach home at 1pm.

So have an nice day!

God loves you!

Raining Cats and Dogs... Climate Change?

2009-06-09T11:28:00.000+08:00

I just came from PUP to get my class schedule for the first semester. Honey, I got a very nice schedule! But anyway, when we reached Lipa, it was raining very HARD! Gosh, there's no storm here, but the rain's very hard. I got wet all over.

The floor of the tricycle I'm riding. See the flood? It reached the floor. This happenes very rarely in Lipa unfortunately.

See the rain pouring? Geesh. But I love the grayscale effect.

Now it's sunny outside. This is not good especially if there are 46 cases of A(H1N1) influenza in your country... Horrible.

Alone in A Room

2009-06-07T11:56:00.000+08:00

The word "Poustinia" keeps coming o my mind this morning. I know I read it somewhere (Sa Pillars Manual) some time ago, but I do not know its meaning.

Good thing this word came to me this afternoon. I searched the word in Wikipedia and I got a very good result!

It is a small room pala where on prays and fast alone in the presence of God for 24 hours. It was introduced to the Roman Catholic Church by Catherine Doherty

It is something living in the desert. Ooh. Desert spirituality comes to me again.

A sentence form the Wiki article stood out: "The poustinik is one who listens, and shares the love to Christ with all whom he encounters, as well as a cup of tea or some food; whatever he has he shares, as God has shared all with him."

I got to learn more about the Servant of God Catherine Doherty and Poustinia.

Religious Habits

2009-06-05T09:55:00.001+08:00

Religious habits have become the "talk of the town" in forums and groups that belongs. i noticed that there are some who are so "fanatical" about religious habits but I rather not talk about them, since it is so sensitive.

I have seen some people who were neither members of Societies of Apostolic Life and Institute of Consecrated wears their own habits. They are not diocesan hermits either, or consecrated virgins, third orders, secular institutes, etc. and in my opinion it is very misleading for them to wear habits.

Even the Philippines isn't spared. Shhh...

Many people ask what's the most beautiful habit we have seen. For me, what matters most is the meaning of the habit. I'm not after superfluousness. I once met a cloistered nun from a hospital. She wears a very poor habit that she looked like a beggar. This reminded me of St. Boniface whose feast we celebrate today.

This is another a sensitive topic: religious leaving their habits in the closet. I read in Mother Angelica's biography that she was surprised to see religious leaving their habits after Vatican II. She said it is not the way it supposed to be. I don't know where to stand! We have to respect each other's opinions.

God bless!!

June.

2009-06-03T08:00:00.000+08:00

I junno why I don't hate June today.

I'm not excited going back to school. In fact I feel nothing at all about going back.

I just feel two months of vacation is not enough. In fact, never enough.

Our Companion group will meet again at June 14. Our last meeting was last May 23. So we are having a lengthy pause. Somehow it's good since we can practice what we have learned. We have learned in our Principle and Foundation Week about the contemplative prayer, the pondering prayer and many things about the LOVE of God and FREEDOM.

So happy days are going to end.

O happy day.

Testing My Patience

2009-05-22T10:43:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning with tired eyes. I think you know what I mean. It is like your eyes is very dry, out of fatigue. However I managed to wake up at 6:30am to do my assignments from our Heart-to-heart listening formation.

Yesterday I went to PUP in Santo Tomas again for our enrollment. We waited in line for almost 7 hours. Good thing I was with my father and some of my Mabini Academy schoolmates. We fell in line at 7.30 am, was able to pay everything at almost 2pm. Of course, it tested my patience! We were talking about our old school, then about our chosen course then about Maki-BaOh.

I think in my last entry I wrote about how I am growing tired going to PUP, how going to PUP becomes a burden. Long lines, hot climate, etc. But this has become bearable. Last Monday our area coordinator talked about our course, which really made me very excited and very interested. Well, if this is what God demands from me I'll accept every sacrifices! I know and firmly believe that God will never mislead me.

So i am preparing for our prayer meeting tomorrow and for the IOL Pentecost Night!

I am so excited

In Silence, You'll Hear the Voice of God

2009-05-18T15:48:00.000+08:00

I went to PUP this morning.

I woke up at 5:20am and I did some of the assignments from our formation, the Heart to heart Listening. I just realized what I have written about the Transfiguration. It is very good to pray in the early morning. There are little distractions. You'll hear the birds singing. It's very beautiful to hear the birds sing in the morning! I felt I was in Bellwether!

What's beautiful in praying in the morning is that you will be able to bear the fruits throughout the day, of course, if you will.

So, we headed to PUP at 7am and arrived there almost 8am. There was an orientation. So, we were given some ideas about our chosen course. I will take BS Industrial and Organizational Psychology. I find it very interesting and exciting now. I find studying in PUP very exciting too. My "complainings" which I bore yesterday is gone. I am excited, but still I seem not ready to let go of the summer vacation!

I was able to arrive safely in Lipa. I went to the Major Seminary to look for a priest. Silence is present there. The priest that I was looking for wasn't there so I got his number. I tried to explain to them the Intercessors of the Lamb. I am disappointed with myself. I cannot explain the IOL well. I am not a good speaker. :-(

So I arrived home at almost 1:30pm.

I'll try to sleep at 9pm so that I can wake up early tomorrow to enjoy the fruits of silence...

Complaining and Tired

2009-05-17T16:02:00.000+08:00

This afternoon I met for the first time the Brothers of the Holy Face and I really had a great time with them!

So after meeting them, I went to Lipa Cathedral to wait for a jeepney. Tomorrow, I'll be going to PUP again, and I feel so much burdened. I want to give up.

Why?

For 5 consecutive Mondays I always go. April 20, I went to NSO and waited for my birth certificate for 5 hours. April 27, I went to PUP to get the entrance exam results. I went back last May 4 for inquiries. May 11, I went back for a supposed interview. But we were asked to go back tomorrow for the interview. I am really tired. I want to give up. my patience is being tested. My capacities are being tested. Sometimes it feels so lonely to take care everything alone. Sometimes it feels so lonely when the one who is with you is a stranger who just introduced himself/ herself. Sometimes I want to quit. Sometimes I just want to throw everything on the floor, and never go back again. But I'll persevere. God will give me strength.

Go! Go! Go! I'll go to PUP!

:-D

Up To The Mount

2009-05-16T16:05:00.000+08:00

Have you went up to the mount?

In the New Testament, we often read Jesus going to the mountain to pray. Luke 6:12 says "It was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God."

The whole night? That's amazing. We can get a lot of lessons from this verse. One is, if we really want to spend time with God, we can always find time. That's why it's quite hard for me to understand when people complain that they have no time for prayers. "I'm too busy!" Well, maybe I could understand them if they work for straight 16 hours, no pause, no rest. Jesus even can spend the night in communion with God.. Maybe, I suggest, we could wake early and spend an hour for God in the morning. I tell you, it's really great to start the day with God... and spend the day with God! Another thing this verse teaches is the importance of prayer life. After spending the night with God, Jesus chose His apostles (Lk6:13) then healed people (Luke 17-18)

One of my favorite mysteries is the Trnasfiguration. Read Luke 9:28-36. It is so filled with contemplation! Jesus went up to the Mountain to pray again. See, mountains are very meaningful for contemplatives! Solitude, silence... oh mountains! Then the Father spoke, "This is My Son, My Chosen One; listen to Him!" Listening! That's also contemplation! The Transfiguration is very meaningful to me.. Really.

Have a nice day!

Found 2 Old Letters

2009-05-08T10:06:00.000+08:00

I was re-reading all the newsletters mailed by the Poor Clares of the Perpetual Adoration (Alabama) when I decided to clean my cabinets. To my surprise, I found 2 letters: 1 is a Christmas greetings from the PCPAs and the other one is from a company dated January 10 (addressed to me). They were not opened. I think I was at school when the letters where delivered and someone placed it between my books.

The storm is gone! Thank God!

I got this satellite image from www.pagasa.dost.gov.ph
Compare it to my yesterday's post. He-he I find weather forecasting very interesting.

Storm Watch

2009-05-07T11:16:00.000+08:00

Storm, storm.. go away!

It rained and rained this morning but stopped just this afternoon. I hope it won't tomorrow and especially on Saturday. We are storming heaven with prayers! We will be having our Empowerment of the Holy Spirit on Saturday..

I got these pictures from www.pagasa.dost.gov.ph

6am (the time I woke up. Minutes later it rained.

11am (the last time I looked at the website)
2pm forecast. Gee it is not moving.

Oh.

Veni Creator Spiritus

2009-05-01T10:35:00.000+08:00

I heard the chant Veni Creator Spiritus a year ago while watching the movie The Nun's Story. The chant caught my ears. The chant is sweet and you could feel the meaning. I am planning to use the song on our next Intercessors of the Lamb - activity. I think nothing is wrong in using a chant in a charismatic meeting, isn't it? I love to see my members of our community entering the room with the chant. I hope this will create a prayerful atmosphere in our room. I hope this will establish silence in the prayer hall. Anyway, clicking the Veni Creator Spiritus will lead you to a YouTube.Com video of the chant.. Don't be afraid to click it. It's not a rickroll or what. I say this because I have the "phobia" of clicking a link to youtube.com because it might lead me to porn film. Anyway, I assure you it's the chant that you will hear.

God bless you! Have a blessed May!

Storm!

2009-04-30T09:21:00.000+08:00

It's raining in the middle of the summer. Is this what we call climate change? I'm starting to catch colds this morning. I woke up sneezing, and with runny nose.

But I love rainy days, actually (but at the right time). Play a jazz music, hear the raindrops. Drink a cup of tea or coffee. What a rest!

I am reading the Carthusian constitution. I got the copy when I joined the International Fellowship of Saint Bruno. Silence and solitude are very interesting. There is so much peace in silence and solitude. There is so much "life" in the desert spirituality.

Desert spirituality - oh. Seems to be harsh. Let us define Desert spirituality:

Desert spirituality was the beginning of the Christian monasticism and the matrix out of which Western monks developed their lifestyle. Contemplative prayer was at the heart of their life...

Contemplation is the listening to God.. It is putting the ears of your heart to the Heart of God.

Mother Nadine Brown taught about desert spirituality. Click HERE. Scroll down to the April 20, 2009 featured teaching, if you are interested.

So this is my thought on a stormy day. I got to check the strom at DOST website.

God bless.

Intercessors of the Lamb

2009-04-20T11:45:00.000+08:00

The Intercessors of the Lamb is a Public association of Faithful composed of Priests, religious brothers and sisters, and laity, called to the charism of contemplative communal intercession. Their main apostolate is praying for priests, and they are based at the Archdiocese of Omaha, in Nebraska, USA.

They were founded by Mother Nadine Brown, a former Sister of the Cross of the Good Shepherd (Contemplative Good Shepherd Sisters) in 1980. She felt the call to bring the contemplative spirituality to the broader Church

Presently, there are 5 priests, 11 religious brothers (3 of them are studying for priesthood), 36 religious sisters and thousands of Companions all over the world.

Spencer Daily Reporter featured Sr. Mary Danika of the Morning Star. You may find out what the Hermit Intercessors of the Lamb are doing.
Click HERE.

You may find more about the Intercessors of the Lamb at www.bellwetheromaha.org

Just the Way You Are

2009-04-17T10:32:00.000+08:00

Tita Malou gave our group a CD so that we will know the songs the Intercessors of the Lamb uses. I heard the song "Scar" by Ray Boltz. I tried to listen to the song and the ff. verses really strucked my heart:

Don't forget I love you
Just the way you are

Indeed, the Lord loves us "just the way we are."

For a long time, I've been trying to please everybody. I don't want them to hate me. But still I feel rejected by the world. But Jesus came to my heart, and spoke the words of the songs.

I was healed.

Now, I take on the words of St. Teresa of Avila: "God alone is enough."

Yes, God alone is enough. Why should I please the world, anyway? What will happen if they are pleased with me? Will I be happy? No, all in the world is temporary. They will soon hate me no matter how happy they are with me in the beginning.

And with God, He will always love me for who I am.

Intercessors of the Lamb Recollection

2009-04-13T11:32:00.000+08:00

Marielle, Christian, Aries, Jasper and I went to the Sacro Costato Retreat House last April 11 - 12, 2009 with other Intercessors of the Lamb Companions. We arrived there very early (10am. The retreat will start at 12pm). We thought that the trip would last for 2 hours as this is the usual but everybody was in the province so we reached Quezon City after an hour!

So there were 4 sessions, all about Intercession, being an Intercessor, etc. The third and fourth sessions are very special to me. We had the Inner Healing at the 3rd session and after the 4th session we had a little sharing. During the sessions, Sr. Mary Cristina and Sr. Mary Antonina gave talks. Sr. Benedicta Therese is also there. They are very sweet!

We got to know other Intercessors. We met other Leaders and Core Group Members of other Companion groups.

We learned a lot and it was FUN!!!

During our Easter Mass, we made our Promises to live a life in the spirit of Chastity, Obedience, Poverty and Zeal for Souls. Then we renewed our Baptismal vows!

We reached Lipa yesterday at 5pm, after an hour-an-a-half trip and we are talking about all things in the retreat,

We want more!

Click HERE for pictures.

Palm Sunday Recollection with the Minim Nuns

2009-04-07T11:30:00.001+08:00

I really thank the Minim Nuns of Saint Francis of Paola for giving us a prayerful day with them at their monastery!

The evening before the Palm Sunday we joined them in their Vespers and it is GREAT! It was my first time to attend such. Their voices are great! How I love their chants, the bowings at the Glory Be's, everything!

The next day we attended the Mass celebrated by Fr. Randy. Beautiful homily. Beautiful Mass!

Then we had our breakfast at the parlor (visitor's area) with the Minim diet. At first we thought fasting will not make our stomachs full but they serve a lot of foods, and we were really full! Who said fasting is not enough for a man? For me, it's more than enough: it feeds the soul too!

Then Father Randy gave a talk about the Gospel after the breakfast. Wow. It seemed that he knows our charism already. He said that we need to be "bridged" to God. Ah, the same thing with us, Intercessors of the Lamb, we need to be "bridged" so we can "bridge" others too!

Then we attended the Midmorning prayers and it's very beautiful like the Vespers. Then we adored Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament and we never felt time passing by. We had our heart-to-heart- conversation with our Eucharistic Jesus. We also sung "In Moments Like This" and "Tantum Ergo". Very beautiful songs. I wish I know them too!

Then we prayed the Rosary. The cloistered Minim nuns led us. We prayed it very slowly and I found peace in praying it. We were used in praying it so fast. But with slowly praying it, we found interior peace. We meditated on the Sorrowful Mysteries. Then we prayed the Angelus and Midday Prayer. How we love the sound of the bells!

Then we ate our Lunch, of course in the Minim diet. Fasting, of course, but the food is enough to fill our stomachs again!

Then we had our personal reflection in solitude. Some of us went in the chapel, some of us in the cemetery of the nuns, some in the reconciliation chapel. We had this for an hour. We read their vocation stories.

Then, we shared what we reflected in the parlor again for one hour. The portress is really a wise nun. We really learn a lot from her.

Then we had a little snacks. Then the whole community of the Minim Nuns came to the parlor and met us. Also with our group, by the way, are the 4 Minim Aspirants: 2 to the Nun's order, the other 2 to the Friar's order.

At 6pm we prayed the Vespers again. Then we said goodbye to the sisters and went home.

Haay, it is really one of our unforgettable moments in our lives! We are looking forward now to our Easter Recollection with other Intercessors of the Lamb in Quezon City. We cannot wait to come to the Recollection!

May God bless you!

Saint Francis of Paola and the Minim martyrs

2009-04-02T14:16:00.001+08:00

I've been writing many journals about the Minim order, esp. the Minim Nuns whom we visit and with the visits, I find their charism very great! they are so kind, the whole Minim order is kind. The Mother Superior from Daimiel will be here in the Philippines maybe in July, as well as the first (and I think the only) Filipino Minim Friar. See, even if they don't see us, they know us. I thank God for letting us meet this beautiful order of Saint Francis of Paola, the Minim Order, the order of the "Leasts."

The story of Saint Francis if Paola can be found here.

I would like to also tell you that there are nine Minim nun martyrs. They were martyred during the Spanish Civil War. They are from Barcelona. These nuns were discovered and were killed by guns. A Minim nun let us see last Tuesday the pictures of these martys after their death. Their face were crushed by stones, full of bruises, of wounds. Their age ranged from mid-30s to late 70s. Yes, even the old nuns weren't spared. At the start of the persecution, the soldiers got 2 corpses from their monastery and they placed it standing on the monastery door. They did this to humiliate the nuns. I think the nuns went to hiding but they were found. They were killed brutally. In their "death place", a nearby house-owner heard one of the soldiers shout, "These nuns are very courageous!". The thorax is the main point of shooting.

To see the list of these Minim nuns, click here and scroll down to [153]

Many other persons were martyred during the time of Spanish Civil War. You may see them here.

Graduation Na!

2009-03-29T05:40:00.000+08:00

In 5 hours and 30 minutes, our graduation ceremony will start.

I cannot really understand why this graduation has no effect to me. Maybe I wasn't thinking about much of it. I was thinking of how our Companion group will go on after our graduation.

Then my classmates are giving away "souvenirs" - their graduation pictures, ballpens, etc.

Then my classmates are talking about their college plans, and how they are going to survive without their barkadas.

Then my classmates are crying.. Crying while they are counting the number of hours before the graduation.

Now I am also counting the hours. And waiting. And trying not to be lonely.

Because after this graduation, we will all be separated. We are now going on our own ways.

After this graduation, we will seldom see each other.

After this graduation, we will seldom talk again.

After this graduation, we will seldom eat together.

After this graduation, we will seldom laugh again.

After this graduation, it would be very impossible for us to meet 7 days a week.

But I hope and pray that after this graduation, things will still go well. We will still consider one another as our barkada.

This is the pain of graduation.

But I try to look at positive side.

Yes! I am going to college!

..no more yes!s

Because the pain is far greater than the joy.

Fear comes.

I hate this feeling.

But I must go on.

Our class is a gang of actors and actresses.

So,

the show must go on.

Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes, OCD (1900 - 1920)

2009-03-19T12:41:00.002+08:00

The young woman who is today glorified by the Church with the title of Saint, is a prophet of God for the men and women of today. By the example of her life, TERESA OF JESUS OF LOS ANDES shows us Christ's Gospel lived down to the last detail.

She is irrefutable proof that Christ's call to be Saints is indeed real, it happens in our time, and can be answered. She is presented to us to demonstrate that the total dedication that following Christ involves, is the one and only thing that is worth this effort and that gives us true happiness.

Teresa of Los Andes with the language of her ardent life, confirms for us that God exists, that God is love and happiness, and that he is our fulfilment.

She was born in Santiago de Chile on 13 July 1900. At the font she was christened Juana Enriqueta Josefina of the Sacred Hearts Fernandez Solar. Those who knew her closely called her Juanita, the name by which she is widely known today.

She had a normal upbringing surrounded by her family: her parents Miguel Fernandez and Lucia Solar, three brothers and two sisters, her maternal grandfather, uncles, aunts and cousins.

Her family were well-off and were faithful to their Christian faith, living it with faith and constancy.

Juana was educated in the college of the French nuns of the Sacred Heart. Her brief but intense life unfolded within her family and at college. When she was fourteen, under God's inspiration, she decided to consecrate herself to him as a religious in the Discalced Carmelite Nuns.

This desire of hers was realized on 7 May 1919, when she entered the tiny monastery of the Holy Spirit in the township of Los Andes, some 90 kilometers from Santiago.

She was clothed with the Carmelite habit 14 October the same year and began her novitiate with the name of Teresa of Jesus. She knew a long time before that she would die young. Moreover the Lord revealed this to her. A month before she was to depart this life, she related this to her confessor.

She accepted all this with happiness, serenity and confidence. She was certain that her mission to make God known and loved would continue in eternity.

After many interior trials and indescribable physical suffering caused by a violent attack of typhus that cut short her life, she passed from this world to her heavenly Father on the evening of 12 April 1920. She received the last sacraments with the utmost fervour, and on 7 April, because of danger of death, she made her religious profession. She was three months short of her 20th birthday, and had yet 6 months to complete her canonical novitiate and to be legally able to make her religious profession. She died as a Discalced Carmelite novice.

Externally this is all there is to this young girl from Santiago de Chile. It is all rather disconcerting and a great question arises in us, "What was accomplished?" The answer to such a question is equally disconcerting: living, believing, loving.

When the disciples asked Jesus what they must do to carry out God's work, he replied, "This is carrying out God's work: you must believe in the one he has sent." (Jn 6, 28-29). For this reason, in order to recognize the value of Juanita's fife, it is necessary to examine the substance within, where the Kingdom of God is to be found.

She wakened to the life of grace while still quite young. She affirms that God drew her at the age of six to begin to spare no effort in directing her capacity to love totally towards him. "It was shortly after the 1906 earthquake that Jesus began to claim my heart for himself." (Diary n. 3, p. 26).

Juanita possessed an enormous capacity to love and to be loved joined with an extraordinary intelligence. God allowed her to experience his presence. With this knowledge he purified her and made her his own through what it entails to take up the cross. Knowing him, she loved him; and loving him, she bound herself totally to him.

Once this child understood that love demonstrates itself in deeds rather than words, the result was that she expressed her love through every action of her life. She examined herself sincerely and wisely and understood that in order to belong to God it was necessary to die to herself in all that did not belong to him.

Her natural inclinations were completely contrary to the demands of the Gospel. She was proud, self-centred, stubborn, with all the defects that these things suppose, as is the common lot. But where she differed from the general run, was to carry out continual warfare on every impulse that did not arise from love.

At the age of ten she became a new person. What lay immediately behind this was the fact that she was going to make her first Communion. Understanding that nobody less that God was going to dwell within her, she set about acquiring all the virtues that would make her less unworthy of this grace. In the shortest possible time she managed to transform her character completely.

In making her first Communion she received from God the mystical grace of interior locutions, which from then on supported her throughout her fife. God took over her natural inclinations, transforming them from that day into friendship and a fife of prayer.

Four years later she received an interior revelation that shaped the direction of her life. Jesus told her that she would be a Carmelite and that holiness must be her goal.

With God's abundant grace and the generosity of a young girl in love, she gave herself over to prayer, to the acquiring of virtue and the practice of a life in accord with the Gospel. Such were her efforts that in a few short years she reached a high degree of union with God.

Christ was the one and only ideal she had. She was in love with him and ready each moment to crucify herself for him. A bridal love pervaded her with the result that she desired to unite herself fully to him who had captivated her. As a result, at the age of fifteen she made a vow of virginity for 9 days, continually renewing it from then on.

The holiness of her life shone out in the everyday occurrences, wherever she found herself: at home, in college, with friends, the people she stayed with on holidays. To all, with apostolic zeal, she spoke of God and gave assistance. She was young like her friends, but they knew she was different. They took her as a model, seeking her support and advice. All the pains that are part of living, Juanita felt keenly, and the happiness she enjoyed deeply, all in God.

She was cheerful, happy, sympathetic, attractive, communicative and involved in sport. During her adolescence she reached perfect psychic and spiritual equilibrium. These were the fruit of her asceticism and prayer. The serenity of her face was a reflection of the divine guest within. Her life as a nun, from 7 May 1919, was the last rung on the ladder to holiness. Only eleven months were necessary to bring to an end the process of making her life totally Christ-like.

Her community was quick to discover the hand of God in her past life. The young novice found in the Carmelite way of life the full and efficient channel for spreading the torrent of life that she wanted to give to the Church of Christ. It was a way of life that, in her own way, she had lived amongst her own and for which she was born. The Order of the Virgin Mary of Mount Carmel fulfilled the desires of Juanita. It was proof to her that God's mother, whom she had loved from infancy, had drawn her to be part of it.

She was beatified by Pope John Paul II in Santiago de Chile on 3 April 1987. Her remains are venerated in the Sanctuary of Auco-Rinconada of Los Andes by the thousands of pilgrims who seek in her and find guidance, light and a direct way to God.

SAINT TERESA OF JESUS OF LOS ANDES is the first Chilean to be declared a Saint. She is the first Discalced Carmelite Nun to become a Saint outside the boundaries of Europe and the fourth Saint Teresa in Carmel together with Saints Teresa of Avila, of Florence and of Lisieux.

Other Canonized Discalced Carmelite Nuns

Saint Teresa of Jesus of Avila

Saint Therese of the Child Jesus and of the Holy Face of Lisieux

Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

Source:
Vatican Official Website

Sr. Magdalena of the Eucharist, OCD (1978 - 2006)

2009-03-17T09:01:00.000+08:00

May the Love and the Grace of the Holy Spirit reign forever in our souls!

“In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us.” Thus is how this small community felt after the departure of our dear Sister Magdalena of the Eucharist to the house of the Father: the Lord had visited us and took from us what was His, that which from all eternity was always His… and as all were visited by the Lord, we have all been left full of peace and hope that our Sister has already conquered death and can be found enjoying the infinite love of the Beloved.

It is not easy to relate something of her life, for her passage through Carmel was like fire, very brief yet intense: in her eighteen months in the religious life, she was consumed by love, immolated for the glory of the Heart of Jesus Christ and for the salvation of all souls.

Our Sister Magdalena was born in Mexico City, and at 26 years old she came into contact with us, saying that the Lord was calling her to be a Discalced Carmelite. After a few months of long distance correspondence with the community, she took the step, crossing the Atlantic and entered Carmel on the 30th of March of 2005 with great joy and hope. The first months were wonderful, and she appeared to be radiant, happy, and full of enthusiasm. She repeated many times that it was a shame that she had not come earlier to Carmel. She was very happy, and she continually expressed this happiness during recreation and whenever else she had occasion for it. At the same time, she had a great sweetness in her temperament: she was angelic, gentle, simple, fervent, humble, docile, quiet…. a model postulant.

Her zeal for souls, especially for the souls of the youth, was very intense and she ardently desired to devote her life for them, in order that they may come to know Jesus Christ and His Gospel She continually repeated to us that she wanted to be a martyr, offered for them. She had a thirst for immolation, to make amends for them and to console the Heart of Christ. Another distinguishing characteristic of her spiritual life was her love for priests and the missions. She said that she desired to be – as St. Therese - a missionary from Carmel. In her final days, when she had no appetite at all and she saw that it worried us that she wasn’t eating anything, she smiled and said to me “Our Mother: I will eat a little bit now for a missionary.”

At the end of the month of April of 2005 all of the community caught a terrible cold that greatly affected us with a fever and an intense cough and from which it was difficult to recover. For some of our Sisters - and Sr. Magdalena was among those that had fallen ill - the cough endured for a long time, almost until June, and for this reason, it did not alarm us to see Sr. Magdalena coughing. During all of this time in which we were working a lot to prepare for the move from Rioseco, she never complained about anything nor expressed feeling tired or ill. Rather she served and worked as before, always smiling and content.

We began to worry when we realized that everyone had recovered from the cold and yet she continued to cough. One morning that she told us that she had coughed up blood, and we were greatly alarmed.

After various visits to the doctor, tests, and analyses, the diagnosis was terrible: a pulmonary tumor that required an urgent and very risky surgical intervention. It was a hard hit for everyone, but, by the grace of God and the Will of the Lord and His mysterious designs, everyone continued feeling “happiness and joy within our hearts.”

Our Sister Magdalena, who was an angel, accepted her illness in total peace and sweetness, abandoning herself to God and remaining confident in Him; she was an example and a motivation for all of us. The surgical intervention began the 12th of September of 2005 and was a success. They removed the entire left lung. The post operation - in spite of a high probability of possible complications - passed without incident; however, the results of the biopsy could not have been worse: it was a very aggressive and very advanced cancer, and there was little hope for a cure. They told us that she wouldn’t live until Christmas. We were told that it would be better if she took the habit as soon as possible so that she may die a Discalced Carmelite, and that she could make her Solemn Profession “in articulo mortis” when the time came.

With enormous sorrow for the community and begging God for a miracle, she took the Habit on the 1st of October of 2005 - the feast day of St. Therese, whom she greatly loved. She was radiant and very happy: she was truly the bride of the Immolated Lamb. From that point on, she began the cancer treatments, which were long and painful. She faced them with peace, determination, and bravery, and we were filled with hope for, initially, the reaction was positive and she seemed to be improving.

Exteriorly she continued her life as normally as possible within the cautions that her illness required. In all of those months she remained silent and hidden, always working and serving in the community in all that she could, especially in the work of formation and helping in the sewing room. If something mortified or saddened her it was that she couldn’t be like everyone else in some things, not being able to throw herself into certain more taxing jobs, although she gradually accepted these limitations as well and repeated sweetly “I will do what I can…”

At the end of the summer, we began to find her worsening: she was more tired, more pale, and more easily fatigued. We went to the doctor, who ordered a series of tests, but she did not give us time to complete them. In the morning of Saturday the 23rd of September, she arose with a lot of fatigue and a swollen left arm that was purplish and very cold. We went to the emergency room and after an entire day of tests and explorations they admitted her to the hospital. They told us that she had a clot that originated in a tumor in the arm and spread into the pleural and interpericardical cavities. It was very grave and there was nothing to do except relieve her in any way possible

In view of the severity of the situation, Reverend Mother and I (who were with her in the hospital) proposed that she make her Solemn Profession “in articulo mortis,” to which she happily and very emotionally agreed.

So, at 8 pm, in the middle of all the activity of the hospital, amidst the noise of emergencies, she pronounced our rite of profession with our help, but her emotion almost impeded her from speaking.

They were moments from Heaven, especially when she spoke the words “until death,” we felt emotion conquer us and we were overcome by tears at the thought of the total oblation of this tenderly beloved daughter. At the end, I said to her, “Sister Magdalena, you are now the Spouse of Jesus Christ.” She did not say anything, she merely smiled while large tears rolled down her checks.

Form that moment on, she abandoned herself and her silence and union with God could be perceived from the exterior. She did not question, she did not complain, she just smiled and waited.

She would repeat to all those who had been interceding for her in those days: “do not ask God that I get better; ask that I may leave soon.” She spoke with complete naturality that she was leaving. She was fully aware that her temporal life was finishing and she serenely awaited the arrival of her Spouse. This went on all week, while the doctors were assessing what they could do to alleviate her fatigue, and we helplessly contemplated how she was gradually worsening. On Wednesday the 27th, our dear chaplain, Father Luis Casado, administered Extreme Unction and heard her final confession. He left edified and very moved.

On the morning of Friday the 29th, she woke up worse, and Reverend Mother called me so that I could come as soon as possible to the hospital for Sr. Magdalena had noticeably worsened. When I arrived, I found her very bad, already in agony, but she welcomed me with lucidity and was still speaking. She was even joking with the Sister that had accompanied me, whom she had not seen since she was admitted to the hospital. We spoke with the doctors and made the appropriate arrangements to bring her to her Carmel, such as having an oxygen tank, etc.

We prayed together with her the Creed, the Salve, and the ejaculations of the Hearts of Jesus and Mary, to which she responded with a strong and clear voice. She remained alert until the last instant. We arrived at the convent at 3:58 in the afternoon and entered the cloister. We were detained for an instant at the foot of the stairs, near a painting of the Virgin of Guadalupe that one of the novices had brought from Mexico, in order to see how we could best climb the stairs with the stretcher. Sr. Magdalena returned the gaze of the Virgin and died; the Morenita del Tepeyac, whom she loved, was her last sight. God gave me the grace to be with her in this final moment, wishing for what she had expressed repeatedly: “that I may have given myself away and may be offered up to the Father as the Virgin offered Jesus,” she would say to me. I remembered immediately what she said to me a few days before in the hospital: that she was convinced that - when she would go to Heaven - the Virgin would leave and look for her, and she would take her up in her arms in the same way that she carried the Holy Child.

It was Friday and near the hour of None... contemplating her cadaver we remembered the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Christ, who once more renewed the Paschal Mystery in one of our Sisters. It came with an indefinable expression of peace and a mysterious and enigmatic happiness to think of the Virgin who would already have Sr. Magdalena in her arms and to think of her joyful encounter with the Beloved. Sister Magdalena had already arrived at the finish line: at 28 years old she had been consumed by LOVE.

Saturday we celebrated her funeral. I say “we celebrated” because our dear chaplain, who presided, wanted to give it a festive and hopeful air: it was the Mass of her Solemn Profession, and he wanted to celebrate it with white ornaments and by singing the Mass of the Angels, including the Gloria. We also sang “O Gloriosa Virginum,” which is the hymn which our Ritual indicates to begin the Mass of Religious Profession. It was all very emotional, and it filled our hearts with hope.

We have no doubt that our Sister Magdalena is already enjoying beyond all measure the love of the Beloved, but, nevertheless, we pray that you will hold her in your prayers, as well as this poor community, and in a special way the least and most poor of all,

Mother Olga Maria of the Redeemer, OCD

Sources:
Phatmass Phorum
Carmelite Monastery of the Sacred Heart and of Saint Joseph

New Look!!

2009-03-13T08:45:00.000+08:00

Hi there! IMy Multiply/Blogger site has a new look! Hehe, it took me time to understand the css things.

Anyway, any comments?

www.essentialnothing.blogspot.com
www.essentialnothing.multiply.com

Goodbye Estelle

2009-03-12T09:33:00.000+08:00

It might be odd for me to post journals that are connected with the entertainment world. But I would like to dedicate this journal to a member of The Ronettes who died last month, February 11. Her name is Estelle Bennett.

Estelle is the one at the right. She is a member of the legendary group, The Ronettes. The group is known for the unique voice of the lead singer, Veronica Bennett. Their most popular song is "Be My Baby".

She was so much devastated when the group disbanded in 1966.

"She was found dead at her home in New Jersey. She died of colon cancer. A week after her death it was revealed, in an article in The New York Times that she had suffered from mental illness in the years after the Ronettes break up and that later on she had been homeless"(wikipedia.org)

All This Time...

2009-03-07T15:11:00.000+08:00

I planned to wake up at 8.30am last night but I woke up almost 10am.

So, this morning, I couldn't find Eastwood, our "youngest" cat. She's preganant and I thought she just gave birth.

This afternoon we saw Eastwood with Tibel, her mother who just lost her new kittens last Thursday. There's no new kittens. We went to visit the Daughters of St. Paul at 2pm. When we got home, look what we saw:

Eastwood is the white cat with orange spots. She gave birth to three kittens and Tibel is taking care of them - feeding them, keeping them warm. But how about Eastwood. I smell a problem here!
We celebrated Bea's birthday today. See, I just came home from the birthday party. My aunties were laughing: her birthday is supposed to be a children's party but oh... 95% of the visitors are adults!
Bea is really enjoying the party! She's with our younger cousins now playing!

Here's Bea with (L-R) sister Kaye, mother Tita Araceli, my brother NY and Bea's brother, Jimboy. Gee. NY is bigger than Tita Araceli. Haay. I remember my younger days.. Playing, running, oh. Now, I cannot run because I don't want to be tired, I don't want muscle aches.

Look at Kamil, our big boy cat. He used to be very white, very cute and very CLEAN. And these very's are 3 years ago..

Have a nice day!

God Bless This Day!

2009-03-06T18:10:00.000+08:00

Hi! Greetings! It's exactly 11:00 PM and I just woke up from a short nap(?).

Now I cannot sleep! Haha! Anyway, I love sleepless nights but I cannot really stay awake after 12 midnight! That a "trivia" about me!

My classmates, and former classmates, can study until 1am or 2am but I cannot study after 9:30PM. I need to sleep after that time during schooling days.l Another "trivia" about me!

God, You Love Them Through Me!

2009-02-26T14:11:00.000+08:00

"God puts people in our lives that we cannot love under our own power.

This is a grace! It is a gift! We simply pray, 'God, You love them through me.'

When that happens we win the territory; we have the power now to get the

grace for others to begin to love one another. Can you see how this is

done in very simple, little ways?"

Excerpt from Mother Nadine's "Sound the Trumpet" Spiritual Warfare Formation Study Series

from www.bellwetheromaha.org

Don't Let Fear Keep Us Apart

2009-02-22T17:11:00.000+08:00

First, I just want to share the lyrics of the song Hosea.

Come back to me with all your heart,
don't let fear keep us apart.
Trees do bend, tho' straight and tall;
so must we to others' call.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you
to your heart where I will speak.
Integrity and justice
with tenderness you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

You shall sleep secure with peace;
faithfulness will be your joy.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

We visited the Minim nuns in Lumbang and we met the whole community. They are a very happy community, full of love for God and for others. We also met aspirants to their order, one to the friars and one to the nuns.

We talked lots about vocation and love of God. We shared stories and everything is very beautiful. Wow. Minims are great. They are really like a family. Wow.

See the Way

2009-02-21T17:01:00.000+08:00

Hi! It's nearly 10pm here and wow! I am sleeping late since Wednesday! But starting tomorrow, I'll try to sleep earlier. I want to keep that discipline so... good luck to me!

Anyway, I have a good news! We just had our prayer meeting with Tita Malou and Tita Marichu this afternoon from the Saint Lorenzo Ruiz Intercessors of the Lamb Companion Prayer Group. So we were kinda refreshened with their kindness, gentleness and patience. So, as our group is growing (we have two new additional members: Ronnel and Samuel), we need more strength now. So God sent them and we're strengthened with His Loving presence.

I met my catechist during my elementary years, Sir Rommel. So, I saw him last year but he didn't see me. So I suppose the last time he saw me is 5 years ago.

Gee. I'm getting old!

Well, as a radio ad states every evening... age is just a number!

hehehe...

The Smell of the Rain

2009-02-19T13:09:00.000+08:00

I received this email a while ago and I was encouraged to pass this because of the beauty of the story. Will you do the same?

At the end of this story, it gives you two options. I think you will figure out what option I chose.

A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery.
!

Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news.
That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing.

At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature.

Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs.

'I don't think she's going to make it,' he said, as kindly as he could.

'There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one'

Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived.

She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on.

'No! No!' was all Diana could say.

She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four.

Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away

But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love.

All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.

There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger.

But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there.

At last, when Dana turned two months old , her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time.

And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted.

Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life.

She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story.

One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving , Texas , Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing.

As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent . Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, 'Do you smell that?'

Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm , Diana replied, 'Yes, it smells like
Rain.'

Dana closed her eyes and again asked, 'Do you smell that?'

Once again, her mother replied, 'Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells lik e rain.'

Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced,
'No, it smells like Him.

It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest.'

Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children.

Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.

During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

Be A Contemplative

2009-02-13T13:50:00.000+08:00

"God will provide!"

We had an appointment with our parish priest, Fr. Mandanas again this afternoon.We requested for a room for the Intercessors of the Lamb gathering. He then referred to us to Mr. Raul Katigbak, but he is not in his office. So I have to go back to the Cathedral again tomorrow and talk to the person.

We've been asking for a room for two months now. So while we are still waiting, the Intercessors in Lipa are "wandering" from one baranggay to another. From Pangao, to the Villa Rosa Carmel, to Brgy. Balintawak... This so nice. We are like missionaries, moving from one place to another. And our mission is to pray!

What is to be a contemplative? To be a contemplative is to be in the presence of Jesus always. I learned this from the Minim nun in Lumbang. Be in Hid presence while praying, while studying, while working, while talking to others (you must see Jesus in everyone).

So is it hard to be a contemplative. For me, I have to admit, it is yes. Because I tend to be concentrated on a problem that I often forget thet Jesus is with me. I reallyt want to grow. Someday, I hope that I"ll learn to be a true contemplative. Right now, I am still learning but with what I have learned, I feel so blessed. I feel very happy to realize that Jesus will never leave you alone. You are never alone. Jesus is with you.

Do not worry now. Leave everything to Him. God loves you.

Still Lazy

2009-02-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

I feel so lazy. I don't know why.. Maybe I'm just tired ... maybe because of some "stressful" things at school. Anyway, I don't want to "feel the load", it will just make the load heavier.

I am just thinking: what will happen on this same day next year? I was thinking this a year ago and I am really surprised with the gifts God is giving me throughout the year. He continues to send me gifts and He always makes me smile. His Love is my strength as I face the "stressful" days, the physical pain (infected wound), etc.

Haay. Tomorrown will be Wednesday again. Time is so fast.. I can feel it...

The thought of college scares me.. hahaha I feel professors will be stricter, or college will steal my free time!

haha! But I promised to do my best.

Okay, I already made my "public" promise now.

The Pope on LOVE

2009-02-07T14:26:00.000+08:00

http://www.mcpriests.com/09_WYD_Pope_message.html

The Feet of the Missionaries

2009-02-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

Whenever I hear the song "Les Pieds de Missionaires" by the Singing Nun, Sr. Luc Gabrielle, OP (May she rest in peace), I cannot help but think of the beauty of being a missionary. I am trying to feel what they are feeling upon reaching their new home.

I rememeber the Minim nun again. We talked yesterday (but Jasper did all the talking! hehe) and she said that she didn't feel that she's a foreigner. She is a Filipino, although she was born in Spain. This contemplative nun is very wise and we learn a lot from her!

Anyway, going back to the Missionaries, many of our saints are missionaries. One of the greatest for me is Blessed Damien de Veuster, the missionary of the lepers in Hawaii. He is a member of the Congregation of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary. He is so great! He is a great follower of Jesus!

Being a missionary is never easy. One must have the strength and the missionary zeal to persevere.

Mother Angelica once said that everybody must be a missionaries. We have to be very excited with our faith that we want to share it to everyone!

Blessed Miguel Pro + the Minim Nuns

2009-02-05T13:58:00.000+08:00

I read about him in Fr. Groeschel's book "Arise from the Darkness" and I searched him at Wikipedia and found out that he's a great martyr.

http://puffin.creighton.edu/jesuit/pro/

Please click the link to know more about this soon-to-be saint. He's an inspiration to me.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

*My Visit with the Minim Nuns*

Last week, we visited a new community in our Archdiocese, the Minim nuns. We talked to a Spanish nun through the turn table (my first time to see one) and she talked to us in the parlor. Of course, she is separated to us with the grilles which I find very amazing.

This Sister talked about vocation. She said she is very happy to be a Minim nun, the same happiness she felt on the day she entered the Order some 25 years ago. She said that if you have a vocation, you must not worry or think hat you cannot do this or that. No one enters as a perfect nun, or monk, already. Jesus will help you. Jesus will not give you things that you cannot carry. A mother will not give her toddler a sack of rice to carry.

She told us also the advice of St. Francis of Paola: always keep in mind our Crucified Savior.

she also said that they do not work to have plenty. they work to have enough things, to support their needs. They have no externs, I think. People give them what they need. They don't go out to shop for food, etc. They only go out when they need to go the doctor, or to arrange some things regarding the new foundation.

As Minims, they strive to be the least of all the servants of God. This is very beautiful,

to know more about them, you may visit www.minimas.org

Vocation Mass

2009-02-02T12:23:00.000+08:00

We attended a mass dedicated for Vocations at 9am and we met lots of priests and religious.. Many! Many! Plenty of religious and priests are present!

Archbishop talked about Vocations. He also talked about Lay vocations which I find very relieving. The vocation of the laity is very special... to be in the world but not of the world. Isn't it great?!

The Pilgrim Statue of the Virgin of Fatima was there, too, and I prayed for the Intercessors of the Lamb.

Lay Vocations

2009-02-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

It saddens me whenever the laity is exempted from having vocations, when in fact, I believe, that lay people have their vocation too. We third orders or secular orders like those of Minim, Carmelites and Dominicans, we have these confraternities, like of the Holy Rosary, of the Penitents, we have these oblates, like those of the Benedictines and Cistercians, and being a parent is also a vocation!

Lay vocation is very special. They live in the world. They are really hidden, and it is in being hidden that makes most of us very happy. The world never realized the existence of these lay people who offered their lives for the salvation of mankind, to make the people's spiritual lives better and to pray and pray and pray and pray for them.

Being a parent is also a vocation but it some seems to treat it as a mere obligation. Remember: mere obligation. I think that it would be better if these people will take parenthood as a loving obligation: a burden (if it is really a burden) that you want to carry all day!

Being a Companion Intercessor of the Lamb is a vocation. We are called to the charism of contemplative and intercessory prayer. I cannot forget what Sister Mary Cristina, an IOL hermit, said: Intercessors of the Lamb are Contemplatives in Action. It is very beautiful and this is what I am really looking for! Our main apostolate is to pray for priests. Eveything is very beautiful with the Intercessors!

Adoremus

2009-01-31T11:41:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP3cGtr3TY4

Listen to their singing! So lovely and inspiring!

Only if I could live in a house with my Eucharistic Lord, I would be very very happy!

Praised be Jesus Christ

2009-01-30T15:53:00.000+08:00

The Intercessors of the Lamb sisters sent me through e-mail the written permission from the Archbishop of Lipa to hold activities at our Archdiocese!

Indeed we are very glad to know that we are permitted! Jesus fills my heart with so much joy. Jesus is my Greatest Joy! He's so good to us, so kind and I really love Him.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Glory be to the Holy Trinity!